TV fix

I love Green Wing. It's the most hilarious thing I've seen in a good long while - why'd they have to spend so bloody long making the new series????!!!!! Anyone who wants, can buy me the first series as a lovely present....

Another good one from T-shirt hell

....here. I like their style!

Bless

Patrick's been totally lovely today - though I'm eventually going to run out of text message space!

The 'bless' title though is really more for Gordon today, though.....Since the hideous drunken episode and my general outing to the lab (which was a little bit more blatant than usually today, by my standards - nothing in the greater scheme of things!), it seems he's been itching to break the issue with me, as Claire obviously told him about our shouty conversation. And he referred to it very obliquely on the Monday after....but bless his cottons, he only broached it properly today! Bless.....and so everyone knows, I'm quite comfortable discussing anything about my sexuality, but be warned it may develop into a not-quite-U description of icky things! Ask away......certainly would make a change from yacking about conformers and deprotection conditions and columns.....maybe we should instigate a lab confessional session and share, share, share! Then again, maybe not. You can know too much about people. No?

Time for some scran.

Looking for fun and feelin' groovy

...da da da da-da da-da, feelin' groovy......

Today seems to be a most enjoyable day, not that it's particularly different from any other. It's gorgeously sunny and I suppose that's lifted my mood.

Oh yes, and check the lyrics to this song, they're far more rude than I'd realised before. And why the hell do you want red knees anyways? (pace Crawford)

Beautiful South are coming to play Leeds to, may have to go and see them. Anyone else feel like coming?

I like this song.

Very bitty post, eh? I'll be more continuous later - but got to run and do more columning!

Blogette

Hmmmmm, I was going to write loads here today, but since I logged onto MSN and got bombarded with people talking to me, I've forgotten what I was going to say! Had a nice talk to the nurse up here in Leeds, he's a funny one, and to the guy in York who I cant remember what he does but we've not spoken in ages......interesting mixed-bag! And of course Stuart, who nipped in and out for the briefest of chats again, I'll have to pin that man down sometime and get a decent conversation out of him!

Oh yes, I remember the momentous news I had to tell everyone - it's quite freaky! I actually felt totally well-disposed towards annoying housemate today! Got along rather well, it must be the lightness of the evenings lifting my mood - it's great to get home and still have some day left, rather than just murk and gloom. And nice to have a conversation where I didnt swallow steam from my ears and blow it out of my arse instead.....so hopefully I've turned a corner and will be much more balanced from now on!

Karmic response

Completely unexpected message from Helen just this evening, an old friend from Oxford! Nice to know she's doing well, should really keep in touch better - but as with all these things, it's difficult. Really cheered me up though, nice to feel appreciated - and good to have a conversation unrelated to anything going on at the moment. Thanks, mate!

Wednesday

And it is Wednesday. I've totally lost track of the days, what with not having to demonstrate this week. Bit of a bugger.

Still missing Patrick, with a heavy heart. It's bad, and totally craving-worthy of me, in a buddhist sense. That's all kinda flown out of the window, really, the whole meditation thing! One thing though, it has thrown into sharp focus just how alone I feel up here right now. I dont seem to do anything these days at all; feeling out of sorts, I just dont know what to do with myself or be honest with people and say that I really feel a bit like crap. It's all my own fault for sitting on my arse, I guess, but I just dont have people to go and see, and do the silly things of life and just get by. Friends, sure, are just a phone call away, but it isnt the same. And having had more human contact and hugs over the past weekend than I've had for as long as I can remember, it just plain hurts.

Basically, I need to get myself out and about. But it's more than a little scary, and I keep thinking to myself that now I understand just how Dad felt in those weeks and days just after Mum died. I should really go and see him this weekend. Actually, that's not a bad idea! Have to ring ahead and say though, perhaps tomorrow....putting things off as usual.......plus I owe him the money.....and thinking of which, maybe I should check my bank balance!

I'm being very bad at expressing myself here. I think I'm just on a little bit of a downer, after the huge high of the weekend. And dont know what to do with myself. And the world still turns, despite it all.

Arse, Jon, you're waxing lyrical and it's all a load of bollocks! Eat, and get thyself outside and look at the moon and remember: this being, that becomes - this not being, that does not become. And a little cry might do you the world of good. Natch.

No longer a bit wet

Rain gave out middle of the afternoon and we had a bit of glorious sunshine! Nice. Shame it meant I got squelchy over lunch, when I could've waited just a tad. Never mind.

Just been introduced to the hideous horror of summertime chez Lab Nelson. Apparently it's going to get stonking hot and sweaty, and not in a good way! Have to invest in some more obscene clothing and frighten the horses. Not that I'd enjoy it or anything.

Been exchanging txts with Patrick again today, dirty boy that he is. A little secret smile all to myself, and a good warm glow inside. It's a good feeling.

It's a bit wet.....

Absolute bucketing down outside, most unpleasant. I nipped out to get some lunch just now to cross the road, barely 50 yards and have gotten drenched. Not amused. Still, does mean that I'm in for the rest of the day now and dont have to do anything else.

Also feel like any force of my personality has been destroyed; maybe I'm still not relaxed here as I thought or my people skills are just totally crap! Who knows? Still, the chemistry lark is still quite fun, so I'm not actually doing any of it today. Or at least, not much.

Heatwave

Well, for some reason the temperature has soared overnight! Dunno why, but it was very warm this morning, I probably dont need the thermal inserts on my waterproofs but it's a pain putting them in and taking them out, so I'll just leave them for the time being. Lab is also very warm, feels a bit oppressive really (but it's probably still only about 20 degrees in fact). Much work being done today (not), with much day-dreaming going on. Idiot-factor today includes me deciding to acidify the wrong thing and realise I've added HCl to my important starting material of which I do not have very much. Luckily I've been able to rextract it, and the worst thing that results is that I've probably ballsed-up the diastereomeric purity of the thing (sugar acetal, lovely) but at least it didnt all go away! Idiocy factor blame I'm laying entirely at the feet of P, since I've been thinking about him all morning (*cynical Jon-ster vomits in a bucket*).

Mustnt forget to go shopping this evening, I've got almost no food in the house! But it'll be a pain in the arse really, what with the tidying up I've got to do; laundry remains on the floor, I've been slowly unpacking my books into a big pile and so either need to find a more permanent storage solution, or pack them all back up again, and not least I need to sort out my post stuff! Not that I'll be bothered, no doubt; life just goes like that! At any rate, with the clocks going forward on Saturday (which I remembered, for a change) I'll have at least a bit more daylight to play with when I get home.......

Better go and check on things again - and tomorrow I MUST do all the little administrative tasks that need doing!

More than words can say

I'm badly in need of one of those symbol thingies today. You know how Prince changed his name to a weird-ass squiggle sometime in the 90's, because it totally expressed his being and everything? Well, I kinda need one of those at the moment to express the weekend in its entirety, as words simply fail me. That said, it's not going to stop me making a mahoosive post right now in true rambling style, to get some of it across at least. Please bear with me, and also bear in mind that some of this is going to be quite personal and, if I run away with myself, more than a bit rude! Also full of the usual trash, though, so there may be some nuggets in here too......

Left work in a little bit of a hurry on Friday, things catching up with me very quickly in the later parts of the day! Had to leave my sample in the NMR tube over the weekend instead of vaccing it down (or is that with a 'k'? As it looks, seems like I've been abusing a cow), so it may be lovely, brown and decomposed by the time I get to it in the morning. Hope not. But nipped quickly to the station and bought a mahoosive coffee and the paper, to while away the hours down to Sussex.

I must here put in a little apology to several of our national rail companies. Everything as regards travel went smoothly this weekend, every train perfectly on time in an almost Swiss fashion, no mucking about and not ram-packed with people. So it turns out it's just Virgin trains that are a big pile of transport shite. Journeyers, take note: avoid Virgin services at all costs! Not only were these trains much nicer on the eye, they didnt waste precious carriage space with funky designed corridors (delightful to sit on the floor in surrounded by bags and crap), and somehow they had automatic doors without the pathological urge to clamp shut on whoever or whatever is within them at the time. In sheer delight I stood in such a door, taunting it to close on my foot, my shoulders, my head. It resisted. Bliss.

Made it to Kings X (which is so very much more salubrious these days to how I remember it from childhood - London looks so much better arriving there at Waterloo), marvelled at their new electronic signs and hopped onto the tube. Straight through to Victoria, nice and easy. And even onto the Brighton service without a hitch, which also left bang on schedule. Spent the last hour of the journey rapidly reading about radicals and carbenes (woooo!), and actually took in quite a bit, I think. I'll have to go back and read all this chemistry again, worse luck. Rolled into Brighton station promising myself that I wouldnt be naughty and run drunk up and down streets shouting rude words for genitalia, like last time. For that, I blame Jane - she always gets me pissed and up to no good. Didnt have a chance to do so this weekend though.

Patrick was waiting at the end of the platform looking just as I remembered, which is damn fine. I'm not going to wax totally lyrical here (mostly because I'll hate myself for it later, but also because it's dull to read), suffice to say I was grinning rather a lot. Despite being cacking-myself nervous and desperate for a pee (southern trains note: loos on your services would be good), managed not to ramble incoherently or discus shite or make noises for the sake of it. This is a good thing, mostly I'm too uncomfortable with people just to be quiet. Not so here.

Back to Patrick's, which is a very nice little flat, I'm incredibly jealous - why couldnt I find anything like that up here (answer: because you didnt really look, pillock) and he's not exactly flush at the moment either! - and talks and chats and trip to the corner shop and holding hands and much else. Good night's sleep too, despite the fact I woke up insanely early and couldnt doze for the life of me. Obviously still a bit edgy. P was a bit cranky for me getting him up too early, I think he's a bit of a night owl - but he doesnt know I was actually awake from even earlier! Never mind. I ended up paying for it at the end of the day by drifting off to sleep and snoring all over him. Most pleasant, no?

Saturday: weather was pretty grim for much of the day, and we ended up getting rather drenched on the walk home (not worth a bus trip). But we headed out to the seafront and basically walked along it the whole way from pier (broken knackered one) to pier (tacky OK one with fun fair and slot machines). Munched on waffles and doughnuts - you know, the deep fried ones with the insane amount of sugar? yum - and headed up through town not really stopping (no desire to shop or window shop, and rain is always grim) except for a quick coffee *grin* and a bowl of soup for me. P played a rather nasty little trick on me; I'd been carrying his wallet for a bit since he had no big pockets, but he'd taken it back after coffee and put it in his bag. I'd not really thought about it - why would I? - but he then asked me for it later and gave me more than a slight coronary! Anyhow, he had it all along, and was most grinsome with it!

A very nice evening stuffing self full of pizza. Watched a rather crap horror film about a woman trapped in Charing Cross tube (which is never empty of people, so no way it was going to get my belief suspended) and managed not to fall asleep! Was quite dropping off by this point, you see; but it did mean we went to bed then and I fell asleep all over P while he watched another film (which I'm going to have to ask to watch properly next time, it looked quite alright but I cant remember the name) and started snoring at him. He took it in rather good humour, I think, and then a long sleep in on Sunday morning - quite long since the clocks went forward, good job I remembered really or I'd still be on a train right now.

Sunday was very relaxed. P makes a mean breakfast - maybe he's had a lot of practice *grin* - and I discovered my jaw appears to to be very tender and painful to chew with. All a result from too much snogging, I think, but P is very snoggable. Didnt get up to much apart from talking and washing and pratting about, all good fun and very nice for a change, what I needed I think since I've been entertaining myself far too much recently. A recharge for the old batteries.

Trip home seemed a lot longer, but then I wasnt riding adrenaline all the way this time. Also discovered that train booking websites are more than a bit shit, since everyone I checked directed me via King's X on the way back and ordered a change in Doncaster (hideous, hideous station) when there's a service from St P's that goes direct. I mean, it handles the tube connections within central London, why not the idea that I could walk 100 yards up the road to St P's from King's X? And caught a direct service? Maybe it's a slower train, but saves the hassle of changing (and hanging about at Doncaster in the middle of a Sunday night *shudders*).

Now home and totally mellow, just missing a certain person very much and getting a bit irked my the hugesome piles of washing up just dumped about (so difficult to do it? very antisocial) but I'm not going to let it bother me too much. Been exchanging txts with P for a little bit - I really have to change my tariff - and now I'm going to go to bed, after brushing teeth of course! And you know, I'm not even totally nervous about the bike right now, it's been so good for me. I need more weekends like this. And I'm going to have them; I'm going to arrange to go and see people all over the place! Not seen some people in far too long. And of course go and see Patrick again.

So, the verdict is: yes, it's 200-odd miles, and I'm completely nuts. But a very contented nuts. With very contented nuts. (Well, I had to put something rude in after promising it at the start! For all you dirty-minded fans....)

See y'all on the morrow, when partially normal service and moaning will be resumed!

Ho ho!

Unintentional source of great amusement. I dont know why I ended up looking at this article, but the pros and cons halfway down make for great reading. Not to be undertaken with food around, it has to be said!

Pantage

I seem to have been having a lot of trouble with my pants this week - or at least today and yesterday. I've been constantly requiring readjustment, which is obviously not very socially acceptable! I think it's a combination of old pants with knackered elastic bits, trousers that really are too big around the waist for me (when did I get slim? I'm not slim!), general slippage and the fact that my belt - one of the canvas army ones based on friction - has worn away and no longer holds itself at my waistline, only much thinner or much fatter!

Resolution of this situation is thus to be achieved by a) buying new pants, b) buying a new belt and c) buying new trousers. That's a lot of buying. So maybe I'll just stick with the situation as is, and enjoy the excuse for a bit of public fondling.

Countdown: P-day minus one

I'm getting rather excited about my weekend trip. Not for the train journey itself, which is liable to be awful - taking a tube across London at half seven, am I nuts?! - but for being able to see Patrick, which will have one of two positive results, I hope. Either I'll clear it from my system, or I'll be nicely surprised. Who knows? Future prediction is not something I'm good at.....

Seem to be not doing very much work today, but it's being most enjoyable. A little column to do before lunch and that's probably it! Perhaps another one in the afternoon of the hydrogenation, but well have to see about that. Any case, it doesnt seem so important at the moment. My forearms are a little bit red today, but that's probably nerves over P-day; have to slap on some steroids tonight, as well as pack and be ready.

One thing I'm noticing at the moment though, I'm ravenously hungry all the time! Maybe I'm pregnant, it would explain a lot. I hope not though!

And a highly active day was had by all........

Achieved not very much today; demonstrating to Ugrads, always a laugh - I've become quite attached to some of them really, they're good people - and that's it for the rest of the year, really! No more demonstrating till October, and there are only two tutorials for me to give for the rest of the week! And that's my teaching over and done with for the while, unless they get me invigillating exams, which would be HELLISH to say the least....afternoon spent composing group meeting and having a little plan of what to do for the rest of the week. Obviously I'm leaving early on Friday for the trip to Brighton, for which I must be ready on Thursday night! Really looking forward to it now, maybe a little bit too much!

Last night had my first wheeziness since leaving Soton - probably because I went rooting through all my books and disturbed a load of dust. Not pleasant, but inhaler was at the ready. Must clean it out actually, didnt really get a good puff from it last night - and I must take it with me for the weekend, just in case. But brought home how much I appreciate being able to breathe properly!

Tonight will have to tidy up room a little, there are piles of laundry everywhere - both clean and dirty - and books and papers scattered.....jeez, but I'm a mucky bugger! Disorganised mind, disorganised life.....something about that perhaps? Maybe my room is actually highly mathematical and fractal, who knows? It's what I'll say if it ever comes to court......

Bit of pictures for you today!

Randomly found this picture on the net.....it's fantastic! GO and watch the Charlie movie right now, it's freakin hilarious! I may have to steal this for my desktop too......

Looks like I'll have to watch what I say.....

Seems that more people are reading this gubbins than I thought! Well, good to know I have a wide readership, and it spurs me on to continue - and perhaps be less downbeat than I've been for a while. Life has been a little low of late, obviously it's my hormones. That and the 'it hasnt worked' rubbish of the past few days re: chemistry. There's no real reason why they shouldnt have worked, yet there you are......maybe have to retry with the tin and cope with diastereomeric separations again (note for non-chemists: this is a bad thing, enough to make an unhappy Jon-ster at any rate!).

Feel totally bloated after not so large dinner, but on top of cake-ness of the afternoon I'm rather full. Also rather short on the liquid refreshment, have to drink a lot of water or something because I've not really had that much over the past days. Dehydration = not good. Also need to go and make some lunch for tomorrow in a short while; must have plenty to eat tomorrow, can't be having cake again!

Dug open box of books and didnt really find anything for group meeting, so shall have to start internet searching tomorrow afternoon. I suppose it keeps me away from any chemistry, which is just depressing at the moment......but sorting out this group meeting seems to be that much more of a hassle, I cant be so slapdash this time around! Got to look like the business; even if it means making an idiot out of myself in the process.

Probably have a bath again in a bit, and maybe even *shock horror* venture out of the house on foot for purposes of getting something to drink. Or not. Seems like I'm not in the mood for spangly conversational droning this evening! Sure it'll come back to me soon. Mostly because I'm looking after the ickle Ugrads again tomorrow, which is always tedious in the extreme. MUST get some liquid for myself for that, I'm always dehydrated afterwards....perhaps an even earlier start than normal to get a jump on the stuff? Maybe. But I think that would be unduly harsh on myself, so I'm going to turn up a 9 and have done with it. No point in killing myself here, is there? Must remember that it's a job, not a lifestyle choice!

Hooray!

I love Bakery 184. Or at least, I love cake. But they've sneakily put their prices up without drawing my attention to it, a whole extra five pence now to fund my pastry habit. Will have to rethink that! Ate up the last of the not-very-curry at lunchtime, that's enough coriander for me for the rest of the month. Nice, but a bit over the top! And next time, I shall get them to disect the meat for me, too much hassle cutting it from the bone. Anyhew.

Managed to get through today without going loopy, and have achieved my extre three columns though admitedly one of those also turned out to be a waste of time! Alas, alas, agreed with boss not to repeat things so we can just get stuff tested, but there's something in me that wants to have another go, fool that I am. But no, we shall leave well alone instead. And repeat again with the amino-heterodiene!

Almost not thoughts whirling around about P anymore, I'm a little bit disconcerted about that! *shrugs* we'll see what comes of this weekend. And then I've got nothing to look forward to in particular - have to find something or other, no?

Profitable time?

Wasted my life staying late yesterday; just crap obtained! Never mind, I'm more phlegmatic about it this morning. Column done today also appears to have given me nothing but starting materials and a smidge of other stuff, I'm putting it down to crapness quality of my heterodiene but I *really* dont want to have to distill it again, or, in fact, make some more.

Tuesday today. Must, MUST look up group meeting stuff this evening!

What a day!

Well, it has been a bit of a trauma of a day.....not that it should be when I describe it, I should just be able to go 'sod it' and not care, but I do - too much! Chemistry not working and your mood: inextricably linked.

What is more important is that though I printed out letters and suchlike, I failed to actually put them together and post them. So I'll have to do that tomorrow morning. Very irritating now working so far from a Post Office and a bank that actually wants to serve it's customers, and from a postbox a home! How the little things add up to make so much....but to be fair, I prefer this house because I've not had a single wheezing episode since I've been here *touch wood*, and I'd rather walk a bit further than not sleep properly!

Speaking of which, I should be going to bed soon: Far too long at work makes Jon-ster tired, plus he needs to talk more with people there. Cef's right, I'm isolating myself at present, which is not good - and this blog could be part of the problem! What to do, what to do........I'm just being so apathetic, it's terrible, and getting more scared of the world by the day! Oh people, come and give me a cuddle, since life is hard.

And for the fans of Andreas Gryphius......

Freely repunctuated by myself, cribbed from Project Gutenberg

"Der schnelle Tag ist hin, die Nacht schwingt ihre Fahn
Und führt die Sternen auff. Der Menschen müde Scharen
Verlassen feld und werck, wo Thier und Vögel waren
Traut itzt die Einsamkeit. Wie ist die zeit verthan!

Der Port naht mehr und mehr sich zu der glieder Kahn.
Gleich wie diß licht verfiel so wird in wenig Jahren
Ich, du, und was man hat, und was man siht, hinfahren.
Diß Leben kömmt mir vor alß eine renne bahn.

Laß höchster Gott mich doch nicht auff dem Lauffplatz gleiten
Laß mich nicht ach, nicht pracht, nicht lust, nicht angst verleiten.
Dein ewig heller glantz sei vor und neben mir,

Laß, wenn der müde Leib entschläfft, die Seele wachen,
Und wenn der letzte Tag wird mit mir abend machen,
So reiß mich auß dem thal der Finsterniß zu dir."

.....and ever-so helpfully translated by babelfish!

"The fast day is, the night swings its Fahn and leads stars auff. Humans tired crowds leaving field and werck, where Thier and birds were trust itzt the isolation. How is the time verthan! The haven approaches more and more to is arranged punt. Equal as diss light in such a way become in few years I, you purged, and which one has, and which one siht, drive. Diss life koemmt me forwards alss one runs course. Do not let highest God me nevertheless auff the Lauffplatz slide let me not oh, not splendour, not desire, not fear tempt. Your glantz is eternally brighter before and beside me, leave, if the tired body entschlaefft, which are awake soul, and if the last day will make with me evening, then tears me for outer thal dark-eats to you."

Automated translation. Fantastic. (though admitedly it's a bit unfair!)





...and just for the curious, a proper verse translation by Sheenagh Pugh;

"Swift day is run; star armies march behind
night's banner. Men in weary company
leave field and labour; where beasts used to lie,
loneliness grieves. Why, time's gone like the wind.
These men are little boats, and soon they'll find
their port. Light fails; so soon shall you and I
and all we have, and all we see, pass by.
A racetrack life stretches before my mind.
Oh Lord, let me not slip upon the way,
nor pleasure, pain nor fear lead me astray.
Thy constant light lead me and live in me,
that though my body sleep, my soul may wake,
and when my evening and the last day break,
then tear me from the darkness' vale to thee."

Der schnelle Tag ist hin

Evening. Great afternoon was had by all! Lovely scooting about, though I should really be more careful the way I ride. Got totally overtaken by a guy on a gixxer - such nice bikes! - while I was myself overtaking a string of cars, he must've been doing at least 110, made me more than a little jealous! Still, something to aim for, no? I'll have to go back to owning four wheels - two bikes, that is!

Cooking this evening has been nice, though it didnt quite turn out as I'd planned. I've over-fried the chillies again, either that or they werent that pokey (we'll find out later when I go to the loo), and the coconut milk I bought the other week is CRAP. I dipped my finger in for a taste, and it did not have any taste at all. So just coconut mass without the flavour. Shame. Still put it in though (and have another tin of the stuff to use at some point!), but it means I have not a whiff of coconut in my curry! And an excessive amount of corriander, so it tastes very strongly of that. Have totally misjudged on quantity though and shall be munching it for the next few days; having padded out a 2lb shoulder of lamb (with bone! in my defence) with a whack of potato, there is actually enough there for the Jon-ster attempt at feeding the 5000. AND I've discovered I left the one remaining plastic box at work on Friday, bugger. So it means I'll be supping it in the evening, and Tuesday, too! I'll be sick of it by then, shouldnt wonder.

Feeling totally mellow. Still feeling a little nervous over going to see P, but it's not quite so urgent. I'm wondering if maybe I've worked myself through it all. It's all a bit odd, to say the least, I'm not being my usual incisive logical self in this regard! AND I'm short on the cashola front once again; never mind. Comes from buying expensive pieces of cheesecake and bags of cashew nuts and fresh coriander and other foods beginning with 'c'. On the cheesecake front, it has been rather a discovery; having failed to find one when I first moved here, I've found quite a decent one from the greek bakery, of all places. Most luscious. Shame there isnt a coffee shop attached! Never mind. They have baklava too - sticky, sticky, sticky.

Hands are very dry this evening owing to excessive washing up this morning and lack of moisturiser at home. Shall have to replace it tomorrow, but for some reason I get really embarrassed over buying enormous pots of Nivea, as if there were something insalubrious about it. All the usual stuff that normally makes people embarassed, water off a duck's back here, but Nivea? It's my dirty little not-so-secret.

Looking forward to the coming week, I've got all my purifications to do tomorrow (hopefully they've not all boiled dry!)

My word

Must have had pretty good sleep yesterday - I've been on the go all morning today! Up, wash, brekkie (still no toaster - that's gonna irk! Maybe I should just buy myself another cheapie one), laundry load one, wash bike, clean bathroom, wash kitchen floor......feel like I've really achieved something for a change!

Will be off for another ride this afternoon. Good fun. And curry to cook this evening - hooray! Hopefully will be nice - but I shall NOT be repeating the hideous coconut disater of previous - it was very nice, but sooooooo rich! Well, you live and learn - this one will be the curry I cribbed from my aunt, and hopefully I'll judge the spicyness right, I've got a habit of frying chillis just that little bit too long......

Oooh, dilemma

Well, the visiting crazy lady (I shall call her this, she wont mind - she's very friendly!) apparently unplugged the fridge to use the toaster rather than the stereo, but then left it like this! Oops - but does mean that one of the John's put the toaster away in a cupboard and left a bit of a note (which I havent seen, so I cant judge the tone of situation). Toaster has been found at the back of cupboard, but if it's his toaster, does this mean it's now out of bounds. Can I whip it out and use it? Or is this wrong? I dont know! What a thing to worry about......only goes to show the tension - maybe we should all talk some more, but the house is just too big so we can avoid each other too much! Plus this John is the non-talkative one.....oh my, what to do......

I've also now linked Patrick with a piece of music, through the sending of text messages while it was on. Bugger. And he's not even here to know! This is a crazy situation.

Best laid plans

Yeah. Well. Ummm. All the stuff I meant to do today was kinda thrown out of the window! It's been really nice and I've been dressing up like a Power Ranger once again (since this is what people think I look like!) and enjoying a nice bit of a jaunt. Great stuff. Did get the food shopping done, but none of the paperwork and passport photos and the like! Oops! But I can do that tomorrow. Tonight's plans have also been mildly axed owing to a) not knowing where to go, b) a desire for a long bath, c) not wanting to go out afterwards, which I probably would do if I went (because I have no willpower at all). Apologies Claire, I'll catch your next one! And apologies to everyone else, but I just feel like being crap this evening.

Mixed thoughts throughout the day, not helped by the fact I managed to cascade my lunch all over the city street, grabbing after the newspaper that was escaping. Bugger, eh? A shed-load of food just wasted, that I'd paid good money for.

Need to ring Matt and Ade this evening, Matt because I missed him yesterday and want a chat, and Ade because I need to talk seeing him in Brizzle come April. Which isnt that far away. Time flies, eh?

Hmmmmmm.

I really had a lot to talk about before I actually started typing! No doubt it'll come to be later, but just now it's all been forgotten. Perhaps a good thing? Maybe I'm weighing my life down with too much thinking. A bit of a sit will sort that out - and I really must contact these Zen buggers again because I said I would, and I really need to get back with a sitting group!

Oh yes, one thought of the day. There was a big article in the paper about postgraduates and career development. Kinda depressing, because it was banging on about employability of postgraduates and skills they have and blah blah blah. Really gets me down, as if we all did Phds because we were only after the employment prospects. It's a crying shame that people only see it that way. I for one dont see it like that, I did mine because I wanted to learn more about chemistry, which still fascinates me to this day, not so that I could add a load of skill factors to a CV. People shouldnt do these things just to put on a list. And the whole marketing round of yourself is such crap too, it's filling in a tick box and jumping through hoops crap; and has generated it's own PANTS industry of recruitment, that bears sooooo little to what people actually end up doing in their jobs. And spinning all your experiences into career positive lights; some stuff we do is just for the pure fun of it. And I'd be more articulate about this if I wasnt so worked up!

Oh yes, and a very interesting article by Tom Stoppard about free speech in the Guardy, very thought provoking, and certainly accounts for where it all goes wrong with people decrying the impingement of their rights; some of which is complete bollocks in my opinion. Controversial.

Dinner tonight: do I make the lamb curry or do I make the sausagey-pasta-y thingummy? Probably the sausage jobby because it's easier, and I'm feeling a little bloated after the extensive potato episode yesterday. Mash is such a lovely thing, but I always manage to make far too much and overdose on it, which is not so lovely.

On that note - adieu!

How bizarre

Friend of housemate has just shown me this. Weird or what? Well, considering what I know about some of my friends, maybe not....

Today has been mostly chilled. Group meeting when rather nicely, but I still blatantly know nothing at all. Have set up reactions to boil gently over the weekend, and shall probably spend monday doing nothing but purifications! Ah well.....at least work is feeling a tad more relaxed now I'm not mulling over the coming out shit anymore. Shouldnt have bothered me anyway.

Ill housemates are a lot better now. Good stuff, I dont want diseases! Tonsilitis is icky. Other than that, I've not got much planned - a day of sorting out domestic tasks tomorrow and enjoying the shopping, and then a relaxed sunday too I bet. Nice. Not much else to say there!

Well I never....

...but apparently veat is fake meat, a general term for all those quorn type things. Please make sure you dont confuse it with Veet, could have a nasty accident!

Pizza again for tea tonight, and for lunch tomorrow on top of the nice ciabatta I got from fanatastic bakery-across-the-road. Should be tasty! And lots of phaffage. Great.

Grrrrr

Column number three of bloody pyranated stuff. Cant see a clear separation and it's pissing me off now! Should be lovely and simple but it's all contaminated with yellow, and I think it's the same yellow shite that buggered everything up before!

My, oh my. But I've had a very nice piece of bread at lunchtime, and once more danish pastry-that-isnt-really from across the road. Bugger knows what I'm going to eat tonight though!

Oh bugger

I think my heterodiene had gone off - would explain why all my reactions have not been working properly! Whacked the new batch in the freezer, will have to try them all again, dammit!

I love public transport

Avid lurkers will already be aware of my love affair with trains. Today was no exception. Having decided to take the train to avoid slippy-bike type incidents, I trolled up to the station a little bit early. In the freezing cold. Train comes along, no way is anyone getting on it, it's too packed! Arse. So wait for next one, which is delayed and in a similar condition. What an arse. And platform is now full of people waiting to get to work - it's more than a little crap, wouldnt you say? And I really dont understand, because the same train yesterday had plenty of breathing room on it!

I shall be avoiding the use of that service if I can. Only trouble is, I do HAVE to use it at certain points!

Tee hee hee

Only in real life, eh?

How did I forget?

Monday night is housemate's nuit de cuisine. Looks like I am on the bread and ham after all! Never mind, plenty of time tomorrow for doing lots of lovely cookery - shame he doesnt pay any attention to see how to do it properly; chopping onions in half before peeling? Surest way to bring on the tears! But that one is me being incredingly picky, and I'm aware of it this time. I still cant get past the 'chop it all up and put it in a wok and then heat it up' thing though....and as for the hot chills? Well, they *will* be hot if you dont show them to hot oil, it's like eating them practically raw!

Anyhoo, back downstairs to butter some stuff!

The perils of using public transport to get to work

...means I'm now stuck here for another 20 mins or have to wait at the station in the freezing cold - which I'll be doing anyway since the train'll be late! Arse. But is it better than having to battle home on the bike? Probably. Just not from this end right now! Hopefully tomorrow will be less hideous and I can bike it in - but not if there's still snow about! I've learned my icy lesson.....

Of course, it does mean that I'm going to be very late home and will then have to do the washing up from saturday night. Having badly planned the time and needed to rush out on saturday night, I didnt do the pots and was in *no* state to be doing them yesterday, so I'll have to do them tonight before I cook! Well, I say cook, what will happen tonight is pasta'n'sauce. And then a second bout of washing up. Arse. Maybe I'll just go for the sliced bread option, I've got buggery shit loads of ham! But I'm kinda in the mood for summat hot......oh, the traumas of cooking for oneself!

Patrick's been really sweet after I sent him drunken text messages. Infatuation is now official. I hope I dont hurt myself.

Ooooh, dear!

HM Revenue and Customs are sending me letters to southampton! Bet it's about the car; well, I'll just have to pay the balance if need be, which is more than a bit of an arse; but I've not had a phone call in a while, which is a good sign.......

Free cake

We like free cake. Free cake is good. Rest of morning to be spent phaffing, methinks!

Better head

Considerably better this morning, though my tum feels a bit put out, bascially because I didnt feed it properly yesterday! Sure we can make up for that today with a plethora of cake-type items, as well as the fruity stuff I've got for the week. Nice. Not really looking forward to this morning, have got to have the boss-talk thing which is never very comforatble (took me sooooo long to get used to talking to Jeremy!), I'll live with it though. And then have the immense fun of doing my distillation, probably take me all morning what with having to play hunt the stirrer-hotplate!

Any thoughts about this weekend? Yes. First and most obviously is the one about excess consumption of alk, I'm sure my liver was bubbling away yesterday. I'm too old for all that lark now, what with being out of training too. No more booze beyond pint number 3 - which is more than enough for me to be right tiddly anyway! Second is that I should always have some crappy food kicking about for when I do get drunk, spent all day yesterday dreaming of tinned spaghetti. Rye bread is nice, specially the lot I've got which is flavoured with caraway, but as mong-food it aint so good! Thirdly, I should just relax a teeny bit more and not give a crap just a little bit more - because in the end, I'm only ever dithering myself into a nice little hole. Despite what I might think most of the time, I'm not actually the centre of everyone else's universe and should acknowledge it!

Phew! That's enough of that. I'm off to capture the bathroom before it gets monoploised for ages!

Baaaaaaaaaaaaad head

What a surprise, I have an enormous hangover. Once again I remind myself why I really shouldnt drink - especially since yesterday was the first night out in a good long while. All of the booze has hit my system like something 'orrible, and you can bet I'm not a pretty sight! Minging, minging dog-breath and bleargh. Interesting descending the stairs in the morning in a still inebriated state, but I've kicked into the headache phase now, and it's just unbearable. I'm going to try and sleep some more in a bit, but just had to put something in my stomach. And right now feel pretty dodgy with that, but it should pass! One written-off sunday, ah bugger.

Well, it's all pretty and snowy outside, looks lovely. I'm just dreading going to work tomorrow - not that I'll be taking the bike, too risky, it means I'll have to get the train and do some walking! Cant bear the thought right now, but there you are. Enough rambling, this is just an excuse to keep my fingers busy and my mind off my thudding 'ead!

Pissed bloging + idiotic idea

Apologies in adavance for incoherence, but inebrieation makes jon-ster more lyrical than usual!.... Three things are noteworthy of this evenig: first, I'm blatanty out at work, and everyone already knew it - whatever i may have said that was upsetting to Chris, I'm now *officially* out and have no more worries about outing self - despite fact was obvious from first. Second noteworthy point is that Claire + hubby read this - hello y'both!, cant wait to meet the singing dentist - and hence any secrets are blatantly not secrets, and third is that Barry thinks I dont like him -which is not true, I just dont know how to react against someone who is just as weird, if not more so weird than myself - hence I'm perhaps standoffish.....well, since I know this all know percolates through, I'll have to be careful what I say! But youz all been great so far, so panic not! Nothing is beyond reconcilliation, and drunk Jon-ster cares not a jot....sober Jon-ster may think otherwise, and I'll let him speak 2moro - but in the meantime, I must remember that I owe Jim cash, and that Patrick is the nicest guy on the face of the Jon-world.........I'm loving all that you say to me, and I hope that I'm not going to be a big let-down....but I fancies ya even so!

Moan du jour

Well, it had to come......

Washing up liquid? We've run out, but you've got some upstairs in your room (for what reason I dread to think). So why d'you have to be so petty as to bring it down and then remove it upstairs again? A fatal misconception of the word houseshare, that man. And then the temerity to ask me whether I've paid the council tax. Do it yourself next time then, arsehole, instead of leaving it to me in the last week. Git. Git. Git. Git. Git. Git. Git. Git. Git. Git git. And I typed all of those by hand, which is the extent of my irritation. Someone please give me a slap and tell me to stop going on about it!

*thunders noises*

Well, it's sometimes difficult to come up with titles.

Today has been a most fulfilling day, strangely enough! Let us start at the beginning, in that I am asleep. I'm asleep, having a dream about the Dalai Lama, of all people. I dont usually dream about religious figures or heads of state (in this case you get the 2-for-1 option), but this one was blatantly not the same Lama as Tenzin Gyatso, the current incumbent. Yet it was the Lama, and talking in a *very* heavy american accent about some shit or other. Only goes to show, he was probably telling me something incredibly important and all I can do is laugh to myself about his funny voice.

Oh well. Did make me think that though Avalokitesvara (the avatar of which Mr. Gyatso supposedly is) is supposed to be genderless, having incarnated as female in the past - Guan Yin, anyone? - it seems rather funny that *it* has reincarnated purely as male for the last 14 times. Funny, eh? Buddhism really can be more than a little misogynistic at times....especially what with the whole 'everyone has been everyone else's mother at one time or another', you'd think they'd have better gender credentials! Not in this case.

And as a sideline giggle, y'all go and type in 'ignorant bigots' into google, and have a nice shufti.

Anyhow, I've now got up and decide to use the last of the loo roll with impunity. I refuse to buy any more until someone else does, it's not fair otherwise and will set a trend of people not buying it unless I make a stand. Not being taken for a ride here! (I did later find that someone had put some kitchen roll in there instead, grrrr) And then out foody shopping. So much more fun at the covered market than in Morrisons, and some nice stuff bought to boot. I shall eat well this week! With two steaming cups of coffee, that made for a nice morning.

An afternoon ride-out through Shipley and north Bradford and back round through Harrogate was made slightly less fun when the weather decided to take a turn and begin to snow. Not so good. But I sat it out in Harrogate with some inferior cheesecake (more gelatin than cheese, methinks) and then came hope across the daletop through the high winds (fun) behind a pillock in a Beemer with has hand mysteriously clamped to the side of his face. I dont know how people can even begin to think they are driving safely like that, most irksome. But after this, nothing will surprise me anymore!

Just stopping in home for blog update and a swift liquid refreshment, then I'm going back into town for purposes of buying razor. Got to keep the fuzz in check, no? As my lab mate noticed this week, I've got a distinct red tinge to my fuzz, which needs to be concealed from the world - at least if it's stubbly you cant see the colour (and I look much more cub-able, which we like!)

Tasks for the coming week: posting thesis to be bound, and getting my passport renewed. But they have the most huuuuuuge form you have to fill out for that!

Friday

Am I going to be one of these annoying couply people? I'm so looking forward to a couple of weekends time.....something feels very nice about my current situation, and I feel like I've lost a cynical edge. Is this a good thing? Will it stop me asking questions? Will Wolfie ever drop me a line again? Only you can say.....

Irritating bloody housemate

Well, wonders never cease. Except in this case it's hardly a wonder. Gripes two, follows on hereafter.....

Gripe the first. Household bills? Makes sense for someone to pay them, no? Well, since I've finally taken it upon myself to do so, they're going to get done. So the famously negative one finally hands over the cash but wants a copy of the council tax receipt. What an arse; I understand that if they had the problems before he's covering his back (well, should've looked out more properly the first time, no?), but to just leave the bill lying there and make me get the receipt for him? As has been noted before, cant be arsed to do anything but it's always someone else's fault. Grrrrr......and to think he wanted to pay it separately in the first instance; well, why the arse havent you done so already, it's due at the end of the week! Despite the fact that we're all jointly liable, and so splitting the bill is not an option - since we've not got individual contracts.

Gripe the second. He seems to begrudge anyone anything these days. National Lottery funding that went to the Royal Opera House? For purposes of actually rebuilding the place and stopping it falling to bits? Well, he begrudges the subsidy of 'rich bastards' going to the opera. Well, I'll grant the fact that the prices at the ROH are huge, but the fact that such subsidy comes in at the lower end of the market so that the man in the street is able to go and see productions for a less than exorbitant price, seems to have escaped him. Or that he's condemning it, probably never having seen one in his life (which is breathtakingly parochial to say the least). Or that since subsidising a leisure activity is bad "when there are starving people in the world" that the same thing could be said for almost any of the other lottery projects. Or that lottery money isnt a charitable donation in the first instance, what with a 28% donation (that's 28p per ticket, people!) going to the selected causes; people dont buy lottery tickets to give to charity. And if he's so concerned about the welfare of the disadvantaged, why doesnt he sell most of his stuff and give the money away, or eat less and donate that portion, or use less sodding electricity and thus keep general prices down and hence have spare cash to donate - or even his OWN TIME to this? Well, no, that would be too much of a problem, and I can just guess his response to the idea of helping which is unbelieavably hypocritical, yet typical.

I really hope other people dont see me in the same light. Metta again tonight, must be done! Badly need to generate some good feeling to counteract all this negativity, I can feel the karma coming back to bite me in the arse as it is; not a good feeling. Maybe I should just go all poofter in front of the guy and really shock him. Hmmmm, that might be a good idea, dont think he could cope with anything so modern!

P.S. oh, and making milkshakes with just powder in a sodding blender? What the f*ck is that all about?

A day, more like any other....

Well, a very, very slow morning demonstrating, there wasnt all that much to do since these little Ugrads are quite happy getting on with it themselves, all very nice. Though sometimes have to point out some obvious howlers, but they're pretty much screwed right! Which makes 3 hours drag, drag, drag....and I cant even nip off for a cuppa 'cos got to watch them.....though I may suggest to Mark a little cover for each other jobby! Would break up the morning, and I do get incrediblly thirsty in the teaching labs, they must have fierce extractor fans....but a nice bunch, my Ugrads. Very few of them now too, there's been quite a lot of drop-outs from this bunch, so space galore! Which also makes for less to do, since supervising fewer people.

Anyhow, had MAJOR caffeine headaches - which I did end up curing the easy way rather than riding them out, which is not good. But I've been flushing my system with the green tea, I was popping to the little boy's room all afternoon! Which I suppose is good, giving me kidneys a flush. Just have to have a big drink of juice again this evening. Nice.

Afternoon spent juggling paperwork, writing up lab book, filing spectra and collecting IRs. Also discovering that perhaps my compounds have decomposed, oh shit. Going to store them in the freezer from now on! Need to make up a label, and then whack them in. Cant have 'orrible brown mucky stuff going to be tested, no we can't. But I havent done any of my proper characterising, still need to do that - proper, like, dead hard NMR analysis of my sugars, not fun with sixty zillion indistinct coupling constants all over the place. Non-chemists: this is a bit of a bugger, hard-thinking work, and not fun.

Failed to book train tickets today, they dont like me at GNER it seems. But I'm heading off to Brighton for a weekend to go see Patrick, just confirming me as a complete idiot, but I feel it needs to be done in any case because it'll either get it out of my system, or the other (better) option, it'll maybe go somewhere and I can start thinking these stoopid thoughts for real. Y'all know what I mean, heh? I'm still a pillock, it's still 200-odd miles!

Hot water

Just had another bath. It's a habit, not that I'm actually cleaning myself. It's for purposes of skin moisturising, and is working alright. I just need to keep off the caffeine, and I bloody well managed it in Oxford, so I can manage it here too. Green tea-bags a go-go, starting tomorrow...... For the sake of my skin!

Said good-bye to the car today, it's been towed away, mostly for the sake of it but it's saved me a lot of hassle regards: paying the MOT, and that's good. Cars are fabulously expensive anyway, and I've not moved it in the month and a half since I brought my stuff down from Dad's so it's no great loss. Just hope no-one asks after it for a while! Once again a man of only a single mode of transport.

Reading books is turning out to be bad at making me think. I'm getting very worried about my future prospects, in that I dont think I can conscionably continue doing the chemistry work I do. I cant ethically justify it, and that scares me. What scares me more is thinking 'what the hell else can I do?!', because I dont think I'd enjoy quite as much doing anything else. Having to learn something from scratch again does not appeal. But neither does working for an evil multinational - or even a small non-multinational because all the work tends to end up in the hands of the big lot anyways; and chemical solutions are not always the best, much as I loathe to say it.....*pondersome*

And there's always the issue of Patrick. Being totally schizophrenic about it at the moment, which is either a good or a bad thing. I cant tell. But I've not had a big talk with anyone for far too long, and so I may have to pester people via phone tomorrow. After dealing with my Ugrads for the morning, not fun.....now that the novelty has warn off, it's incredibly dull!

Thankyou Hammerstein

Fish got to swim, birds got to fly,
I got to love one man till I die.
Can't help lovin' dat man of mine.


Hmmmm. Enough of the soppy stuff!

I have to do this.....

It's required I'm afraid. Professional interest, general geekness and a desire to foist it on your lot make me do it. Here are The Elements, the page of Silly Molecules (and the fact that the editor of this taught me thermodynamics explains EVERYTHING of why I never got it properly), and to the same tune, a load of drugs - and I'm shocked how many I know!

Apologies. Just had to share.

Foooooooooollllllllllllllllll!

In this case, phonetically meant. I've stuffed myself with prawn toast, so fully expect lard to come leaching from my pores this evening in the bath. That and a little coffee! Lard is a bit of a feature at the moment, since I cooked with it yesterday. Food tasted fabilous, but I can feel my arteries turning to dust as I type! I've gone from the healthy fresh diet I used to have to the unhealthy fresh diet I have now. No processed foods still, just a lot of stuff that is entirely bad for me!

Today has been very slow, very slow. But nice, it's been gorgeously sunny and not actually all that cold, so I'm somewhat more upbeat. Tomorrow needs to be spent discussing stuff with Adam re: work, and doing a lot of dead-end stuff. And having a big think in general. And booking myself to get to London to see this niece of mine!

Bit of an ummm and an aaaah on the Patrick front. Dont know what to think or how to act there. Bit of an existensial moment, really. Not really a choice to make, just have to shoke myself from torpor and get on with life - though it would be nice to think otherwise, no? Or maybe my whole life philosophy is incompatible with the notion of couple-dom; it's what I've espoused in the past, no? And I cant say as anyone ever perceives it as a lack in my life, there's no 'so when are you going to find a nice man' questions, which in some ways is a bit of a relief! Bugger. Maybe should mull this over with Steve, who's got a good head on his shoulders with a lot of advice, even if he appears to be a shameless gossip. Still, it'd be one way to get over the whole coming-out crap....I've kinda made it difficult for myself by not just doing it, but......

Crap-o-rama. And tomorrow I HAVE to do the shitty jobs such as thesis colour printing, ringing about car and paperwork. What a to-do. Everybody sing: a reseracher's lot is not a happy one - happy one. Well, it is really, I've just landed myself in all the shit more than anything else! Hell of my own creating, and the worse thing is it can be better and I know exactly how.....

Bunny parody

D'yall remember the Excorcist re-enactment by bunnies? Well, they've done it again for Brokeback Mountain, and it is kinda funny! Go enjoy yourselves.....I think Heath Ledger looks far sexier as a rabbit - should I be worried about this?

Bejaysus!

My, but I'm a mess of tangled thoughts today! I'm blaming it on the lack of food, it now being nearly half ten and I'm still cooking me dinner. Anyhew, I'm all of a confusion over what I think, what I want to do and what I feel. Ever had those days where nothing seems to make sense anymore? And you question every decision you've ever made? It's been a little bit like that this evening, and there's no particular reason why. Or at least, not a good reason.

Menu: beef. I cant really give it any more specific name, but there are peppers in there too! Should be good, smells nice from here, just needs a bit longer.....and I'll be cooking my chicken legs tomorrow. That is, some chicken legs, not my own legs - which arent remotely chickeny, I'm rather plump of fetlock and it has been counted amongst one of my best features - says a lot for my face, dont it!

Hmmmm, yes. Feel the need for a good long chat with someone who'll both tell me I'm being a pillock, encourage me and offer friendly advice. It's where have buddhist sympathies really begins to bite, because I cant just absolve responsibility for my own mess of problems! What an arse, eh? Never mind, never mind.

Iceman? Not me

Grrrrr. Entirely my own fault is the following story, so I've no-one to blame and in a way it serves me fully to rights!

It's been a gorgeously sunny day here today, and by about mid-morning all of the ice had melted on the main roads so I did head out on the bike in the end, because it's too much fun not to. And a very gorgeous episode of riding was had! Except I kinda forgot that on little backstreets in York where the sun doesnt shine, the surfaces might still be covered with lethal black ice. Which they were. Having forgotten about the possibility, I was suddenly surprised to be all over the floor and bike dumped on the road, much to the horror of passing pedestrians. Who were very helpful in lifting up the bike again, may they have a good whack of karma for it! I'm fine too, but I've scraped my handle-stop and the left side again (the side that took it from the ice before, coincidence?) and fractured off a large bit of the wind-break. So not only is the wing mirror buggered on the right side still - must ring about that - but I need to replace the windbreak at some point too. What an ARSE. Bike beginning to look really tatty, I'm just going to have to accept that it's a load of money down the tube and just ride it into the ground! Or be aware that I'm going to get jack-shit for it as a trade-in, since it's the cosmetic damage that is the most expensive to fix, it seems.

Anyhow, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. And not in a bear-y good kinda way.

un petit voyage au centre-ville

Went into town today, and did my shopping there. Somehow I've managed to misplace an entire shop! It was there when I went the other week to the covered market, now I cant find it. Bugger. Anyhow, got myself some lovely stuff to cook today and tomorrow. Also a few little observations.

I couldnt go to the nice little italian place for a pasta lunch because it was absolutely rammed at lunchtime! Only goes to show it's a good place, but I was in a hurry and had to make do with corporate cornish pasty, sold to me by a scottish lady. Not Ginsters, pace relatives. And very nice it was too. Also discovered a german sausage stand (so called - I bet it isnt really, but there is something about the word 'Frikadelle' that gets my juices flowing.....there was also another food van advertising 'fizzy slush' for sale. Now as a description, it just oooooozes sugar, doesnt it? you know if you get one and finish it, diabetes melitus cannot be far away, along with dental caries of the entire upper jaw and possibly cancer of the soft palate. Perfect description. Nobody seemed to be taking it up.

Plenty of coffee again today, and not actually that much to eat as yet, but I've got big plans for the evening with the beef I bought. Almost a carbonnade to be made, with some of the free beer and the leftover veg! Yum Yum. And I have scones and other bits and bobs to take into work to take care of the snack urges. Planning is a wonderful skill!

I've also made a DECISION. Yes, steady on, but I'm going to get rid of the car. It'll solve me so many issues in the long run, really. And I can just ring up and get it taken away. Since I never paid anything for it, I really consider it a great loss (though Gran and Dad may kill me when the find out!)

Friday night ramble

Hmmm, that almost sounds like some kind of wholesome activity! But I'm here for a big splurge of free association, I've got nothing in particular I want to say so bear with me, we'll hope something good turns up....you've got to look for gold in the dirt, you know!

End of the week, and I should be rather perky but I'm not. There are a couple of reasons for this, one being that I've got nothing specific planned so I may just end up spending cash on snackettes and caffeine, always a tad depressing because you feel like you've socially failed, and second is that it's bloody cold and snowy and icy, which means no riding tomorrow unless we have a big thaw. That isnt exactly likely either, so the roads will be treacharous and I'm not risking my life on that. So I'm in a bit of a grump, with nothing planned. So we'll now think of something to do.

Well, I suppose I could go and look at the Abbey. Since nobody has visited me yet (why would you? You're all miles away!), I'd better fill you in.....my road faces down to the Aire (river), and there's a runied abbey and some parkland just down the end of my street. Very picture-skew, and you can actually see it out of my skylight too! If you tip-toe and stretch you neck, of course. But it is a bit of a sight, so I suppose I should have a shufty since it's right on my doorstep, and I've not done any foot exploring of Kirkstall as yet. Seems a shame to live somewhere and never really get to know it! Wonder if there's a library to join around here.....

Cooking is also something that I should do, for the money saving prospects. I tend to go overboard every once in a while, but right now I need to do it and build up a food stock, because I'm spending far too much cash at lunchtimes and throughout the day on snacks. Bad for me, bad for my wallet. There's a really good sandwich/bakery effort opposite my workplace, so it's just so easy to go buy things - but it's also expensive, very much so if you add it up! And right now I cant face starving myself (it's not got that bad quite yet), because rumbly tum is painful, specially if you put cold liquid in empty tum! So maybe I'll cook up a big stew and some muffins, not baked for far too long. Not that I can bake much lacking cake tins, but the muffins I can manage. So yes. I need flour anyway after the OTT pizza efforts at the start of the week. And I've got a pilaff-in-the-making with the veg I've got left from this week. So maybe tomorrow a trip to the market, a stock up on nice things and the rest of the weekend cooking? How depressingly boring and lacking in human contact. *sigh*

Few things hanging on my mind, in a 'stuff you need to do' sense. For example, there's my credit card bill to pay, the money I owe back to Dad (though he'd probably tell me not to pay it back, since this is the only money I've ever really borrowed from him or Mum), the household bill stuff NOBODY is taking responsibility for, it's like one of those blinking contests, and the first person to look away and actually sort something out is going to be doing it for the rest of the time. I just know it's going to be me, worse luck, I can never let things lie! And I also, shame of shame, have to deal with the car one way or another. It's run out of it's MOT *and* tax disc, so is actually quite illegally parked as we speak, but it's going to cost me over a hundred for the right to park it and do nothing with it, or garage fees if I choose to hole it up somewhere, but you know? I dont really want a car, now I've got the bike! It was dead handy for the southampton moving-thing, and no doubt would be again (not least for weekend trips, bike less suited for that in the wet!), but I resent paying a load to insure and tax and MOT it when I'm not going to use it. But it's worth something, and just getting it towed would be a bit of a waste (though it's wasted at the moment!). Still, something else to do........

Room also needs an organise. Lack of storage space means I've got things just sort of plonked and it's not exactly tidy or condusive to tidy-keeping. But then, I've always been the scatter-y sort of person, so maybe I'm fighting a loosing battle!

Oh, must remember to buy bog roll tomorrow, we're nearly out...though I did buy the last lot too! Shall have to maybe suggest the kitty thing soon; it'd be worth it! The pedestrian chores of communal living, eh? Most of you are aware, no doubt...

Drowsy and droopy this evening, as ever! Dont seem to be awake at all these days, was I ever? Evening have been lost into a routine that is as repetetive as it is dull; what is a boy to do? Stop typing shite, perhaps!

Quickie

Just so that you dont think I'm dead, a post! Not much to write though, I've done actually NOTHING for the past few days. Literally. I mean, I'm not even breathing here. Everyone should try it sometime.

Actually, I've been pussy-footing around an issue because I dont want to admit to myself that I've fallen head over for this guy when it's blatantly the case, and havent blogged it yet because I dont want to hurt the feelings of someone else who reads this blog. Cryptic, huh? But it's been weighing me down, despite helpful advice from Andy who really knows how to state things plain. Useful guy to have around! Anyhow, I dont know how long these feelings will last (and it's not the same as the whole Neil issue, because that I knew from the start was involved with other stuff), but I'm enjoying them for a while. And I'll deal with the shit later. People who know me better (and have other contact details!) can ask for more info....as for my lurkers (do I have any?), you'll just have to wait a bit for the gory details!

More animated japes

This week I be mostly loving newsgrounds.com. This one is freakin' hilarious! Go enjoy Charlie the Unicorn! I know so many people like him.....Many, many thanks to Patrick for pointing me in this direction........

Tuesday....oops, no it's Wednesday!

Shows how time goes. Had an interesting time demonstrating in labs today, some of the ugrads decided to have a whale of a time. So we had one molten cable resulting in a big bang and a fume hood trip-out; it's still bust, heaven knows what went wrong! Someone else decided to throw water all over a heating mantle and short out another fume hood, though that one was just a trip and easily sorted, and someone deciding to throw things in their eyes. Nice. No damage there either. But makes for an exciting morning!

This afternoon has been spent doing paperwork and marking ugrad stuff. Some shocking mistakes, but I suppose I'm in the position to know better! Never mind. Have to go do that tomorrow. Written up all my experimentals and had a big planning thing - need to discuss with Adam, but may not have the chance for a while. So I'll go over them again and then decide for myself tomorrow afternoon.

But some big news: I've been summoned for jury service! I'm a bit put out by the wording of the document, but I'm aware that it's my civic duty and has to be done. Hopefully they wont decide to send me to Southampton (where they've registered me at), as that would be a bit of a pain (though I suppose I could go stay with Matt or someone), and I can do it in Leeds. Hopefully also it wont be a big trial, as I'm not fond of the idea of having to consider a big important case. The difference between deciding a case according to the law, or deciding what the law should be. Anyhow, should be something a bit different to do, and at least I'm young enough to appreciate it, perhaps! My Dad got called for the first time this year, and he's retired!

In a bit of a dither in my personal life at the moment, I seem to have acquired burmese inertia, or something, because I have no inclination to do anything, despite the incentives of being totally bored once I get home and having my annoying housemate to deal with. Metta again tonight - though I've been having a really hard time witht the dedication to meditation thing (as you are all no doubt aware, since I moan about it constantly). The obstacle of Sloth, methinks: my brain wont have me sitting about wasting my time (despite the fact that what I would be doing instead is a big fat NOTHING). Someone kick me up the arse? Orderly queue, now.

Well, that's enough for now, I'll update again once I get home, if I dont decide to go to the theatre or something.....not that this is likely!