Isnt life just fantastic, sometimes?

Sometimes I feel like an absolute fraud. I really never feel like I actually know anything which I'm supposed to; it's as if I've managed to blag my way thus far, but I'm really just coasting until someone notices that, hey, actually, that guy knows nothing whatsoever. Hopefully this feeling will pass, but it seems to underscore a deeper malaise that I'm having with my chosen career path. More on that story later. But not today.

Passport arrived at Dad's today, was wondering if that would happen and it has. This is what could be termed 'a bugger', because I'll never convince him to post it to me, so will require the expenditure of money to go home just to pick it up, cacktastic. I'm not bloody riding all that way with the weather the way it currently is, it'd take about four hours each way and a very scary trip too, considering the sidewinds that were blowing me everywhere this evening coming home - not nice.

Badly need a hug from my tiger, and probably a good kick up the arse from him too. I feel totally out-of-sorts and upended at the moment, and more than a little friendless. Quite irrational, and I know it'll pass (eventually), but it doesnt do much for the current moment. Also, I need to sort out all this rubbish that I've already done, and do some more, even. Arse-tastic, I hate work.

Nuff.

...and a bit of a mope

(:-( Moody, bipolar git that I am (:-)

Home

Knackered. Bored. Slightly spaced out. Full of pasta. Too much shit whirling around inside head. Time for a little time out!

Squits, splits, schvitz and other stuff

Let's deal with these things in order.

First of all, yesterday when I went shopping, I was feeling very thirsty - possibly as a result of riding, hence loosing a bit of liquid - so I bought four pints of orange juice. It was recently brought to my attention - guess who by - that I seem to get the squits when I drink too much of the stuff, and without realising it I polished off the lot last night. So this morning was not a pretty sight, or a pretty sensation. But I'm sure the beta-carotene did me some good!

Breakfast was a pretty lowly affair, but I did have some cheapo jam for a change; breakfast isnt usually anything special, and not that toast+jam is amazingly unusual, but it's pleasant for a change. Then I togged up and went out to work, pausing briefly on the way to fill my tank up with petrol after running out halfway along Kirkstall Rd. At least now I'm sensing that this is what the problem is almost instantly, and pulled in quickly for a flip of the reserve tank switch, but it's still not fun. Work consisted of doing a column - the split - and finding out that I've obtained two very unexpected things. Never mind. I'm canning that side of things for the moment anyways, I've got far too many other things to worry about!

After that, and fannying around with a gazillion bottles of solvent with literally dribbles inside them *grump*, I came home for a quick sarnie and then put on my spanky leathers - fetish, moi? - and went out again. Nowhere now, nowhere exceedingly exciting, but out to Skipton and back along the Harrogate road with the twisty bits over Blubberhouses and the dips and stretches. Very, very fun riding road, and I think I did very well to myself, especially once I started talking myself through it all. It helps a lot, and is to be recommended for fast riding and fun (:-) Some nice cornering, other crap....I'm really gonna have to go tracking one of these days, though it'll be something to save up for and NOT take my own bike doing!

This leads us to the schvitz, because I'm now a little bit smelly; wrapped up warmly, I overdid it perhaps but better warm than cold at this time of year! Also stopped over at Steve's for a cuppa and a hot cross bun - much appreciated, I such a skank, I'll be nice in return! - and a bit of bird-watching. Most pleasant. And then another run across some twisty bits home, including the really fun bit up out of Otley up the bank to the airport. I love biking, wish I'd started years and years earlier.

And now at home, all sausaged-up (mmm, good food) and quite, quite tired. It's also started to rain, which'll put the mockers on me going riding again tomorrow, but never mind. At least I got it done today! I'm really going to miss these handy Dales.....Surrey's going to be too full of people......

The open road

Well, it wasnt quite so open, but I've been out riding today. Not a mammoth session - in fact my wrists hurt a little bit because I'm not used to longer rides than 10 mins in to work (fnar) - but a good hour-and-a-half without a stop, all done up in my spanky leathers and red lid. Perfect for generating grins, especially with some of the leanovers I managed to pull, but I need to build up my riding skills again after the (quite boring) same ride into work every morning. Few little moments where I know it could have been better, much better, so we'll have to work on that. I nearly didnt go, but I've had so much fun. Shame my bike is now literally coated in mud, another job for tomorrow along with the laundry and the tidying!

So the wish list now includes not only a new bike, new lid, new boots, new gloves and a rubdown by Phil Vickery and Steve Thompson, but also a new can of degreaser (:-) I'm in a good mood......and dinner will be profligate and delicious, once I've been to the shop!

The simple things in life

A very quiet day at work today, and much appreciated. It really is way too crowded when everyone is around, but even the lack of just two or three people makes all the difference. Much less stressful playing dodgems all the time, and less background hubbub and regular access to computers. These are all good things. Not that too much was achieved today, but I'm happy. I've realised that I just need to go *snip* and say 'that's enough', and just get the hell on with other things. So next week will be devoted to report writing and tidying up loose ends, and sorting out this bloody enzyme jobber that the boss wants me to do (that I thought had been shelved or forgotten about).

I digress. What I really want to blog about today is that the simple things in life are often just what you need. I've been moaning about food through most of this week, and not eating particularly interestingly, but tonight I've really scraped the barrel and come up with something rather wonderful.

Omelettes, blogardes, omelettes. The simplest thing in the world, and the only proviso is that butter is essential and not optional. It really is heavy on the fats, but is otherwise so light and good for you and just delicious - a just set/ever-so slightly runny mass of buttery-firm egg, with just a little bit of something in the middle to contrast in flavour, in my case today a few cubes of cheese. Just fantastic. I'm sure I'll regret it tomorrow, what with the habit my digestive system has with eggs and noxious gases, but at the moment I'm veritably glowing with delight and contentment. Perfection would be achieved if I only had some fruit to eat - but perfection is to be endlessly strived after and never achieved.

Back in the second year of my undergraduate, I went through a summer of eating about 5 of these cholesterol bombs every week, at 3 eggs a shot (I know, it was terribly bad for me!), when I'd buy delicious salty cooked ham from Chandos Deli and put just a little inside (if there's one thing I miss most about living in Brizzle, it's Chandos Deli and hell, Reg the Veg and all the other shops in Clifton village *nostalgia*), and I think I might be onto it all again. It's very cheap, and a good source of protein - make sure I buy free range only, suppose I should organic it too, but that's a dirty word - and I have a good pedigree in that a lot of East Asia eats plenty of eggs as its major protein source. I'll have to give this some thought, though I'm not sure where it'll fit in with the layered food/mash obsession I had last month!

What I really need to do is get on the fruit bandwagon and eat more deserts. But that would involve custard, something I do like to make for myself from scratch (even if it is a bit long-winded), and hence even more eggs. Ah well. I need to go shopping tomorrow......a whole world of food awaits!

and exhale

Must remember to let things go and not obsess; I'm very bad at doing that, and playing things over and over and not doing myself any favours. So, *breathes out* I'm letting it all go, and it's not going to bother me any more. 'Specially since the current 'erk' is something entirely trivial.

And why, I ask myself, did blogger enforce me to change my login and sign up to the ever-encroaching Google, but then still have the option of using blogger login? It seems highly suspicious, that. Why push people to do it, if you are retaining the old system? Seems to me like it's Tesco all over again......Ave Google, going-to-lose-their-privacy-and-protest-rights-turi te salutant.

*breathes out again*

erk!

Having a boyfriend is expensive! I've just had the latest phone bill, and it's huge.....I never used to spend so much on phone calls, and to be fair the expense can go hang in the end (though I've changed plan, should be much less for me now), but it's frightened to willies out of me once again. What with the upcoming move, bike service and new social life to generate, I'm going to have to start getting used to spending days indoors, which I suppose makes it ever more imperative that I live somewhere nice! Though it's going to be another huuuge expense trying to find somewhere; better ask Lilly about relocation assistance......

Anyhoo, I've at least worked out one of my problems. Last night on the way home from work I had a little panic attack when I thought my lights had suddenly dimmed and my electrics were about to blow. No such worry, it was in fact the security motion-detecting light that went off, as I realised this evening. Phew.

Trying to get by the week without spending too much on food, though I've already shot that one in the foot by buying it today; I should really get myself a lot of bread and freeze it, except the freezer here is chokka with everyone's crap. Really I should rummage through there and find all the junk that I've put in there - I know there's an excess of chicken bones, and some chicken thighs, possibly more but I'm not sure, but I should really audit that and all my other food, save myself some money by planning around all of that rather than spending more on new of the same. Still......

That's all for now, my head is dancing about quite a bit! I think I'll eat, soak my hands again and then surf for the evening......

Good weekend

It was. Very nice, relaxed, fun.....and good in a lot of ways.

Back in Leeds again, now with manky hands (though not too manky). Time for a bit more care of them in terms of assiduous creaming and coffee cutback, it's just 'orrible when they're sore....specially since the occupational health people rang me up about it today! Never mind, it'll all come out in the wash......

Anyhow, I've finally organised myself with my new (2nd-hand) gore-tex trousers, and may break them in going to work tomorrow, if it isnt too cold. Room's a tip, laundry needs doing, but I'm too happy to be bothered with much apart from lying back and sleeping till two weekends time.....

'ello

Oooh, have I not posted for quite a while? Cant think why, nothing happening is not usually a barrier to me trotting out my sesquipedalian nonsense (it's a good word, use it wisely my bloggardes). Maybe it's just been the dodgy guts and lack of cash. Nearly the end of the month and time to be paid now though! And the end of Feb will be the deadline for switching the water and phone bill names over. Punkt.

I'm now down with P, and since it's far too early in the morning for him to be up and about, but the sunlight streaming in the windows woke me up at the crack of dawn, I've been surfing a little, checking out bike shops round Surrey and dribbling over accesories. Funny, really, since I was completely shattered by the end of yesterday; there was a little nightmare with the trains, in that the service between Peterborough and Stevenage - the heaviest-used bit of the east-coast mainline, my route - was bolloxed. Why this meant I had to take one train from Leeds to Doncaster and then change, I dont know, but it meant I boarded a (two-hour delayed) service from scotland and had to stand up all the way across the Midlands. Well, I might have done, but since I was in the middle of a carriage I eventually plonked myself on the floor to save my knees. I dont see a problem with this; the train was rammed with people, yet I still got a bit of grief from the man pushing his way up and down the train a couple of times to buy beer (at vastly inflated prices) fo him and his mates. I think he was causing the more problems, trying to force his way past all those people, but never mind. Eventually I obtained a seat, and by the time we arrived in Peterbrough repairs had been made so the train kept on for London. Thankfully, this maybe saved me several hours since otherwise it'd have been a bus between P'boro and Stevenage, then more changes and then crossing London. But not for me, luckily - news from a large party of Darlington schoolgirls (ah, the lovely lilt of county Durham) was that even the replacement bus service had gone to pot! Arrived in at half ten, quite shattered.

And now the weekend! Hope it's a good one (:-)

Knackered

Brain overload....too much going on.....late at work.....need to put down the bloody chemistry and walk away! Hopefully this weekend will get me out of that mindset and let me relax a bit.....I dont think I'm going to do any of that tomorrow, what with having the delights of teaching in the morning....at least I wont be constantly talking for three hours and dealing with snotty Ugrads......

Late home

It's been a long one today, and I just realised just how much crap I have to deal with before I leave Leeds and start back doon sooth, and that's just at work. Nothing at all to do with the god-awful moving experience that I'm going to need! What a bugger.

Still, late home this evening owing to guilt-induced late column at work and thus evaporating stuff until right up to seven, then home and pasta. Very light dinner, huh? But no proper breakfast this morning either, and I'm starting to feel the pinch of it once I get to lunchtime, and maybe even once I'm at home; I'm still feeling peckish and I've had aforementioned pasta and a piece of bread.....maybe it's worms again......

Today's culinary note: I added a bit of milk to my little bit of home-made tomato sauce, to make it a bit creamier and that bit more filling, but was disappointed to see it become all flecky....so the moral of the story is 'remember what you put lemon juice in, as this will curdle milk products by the coagulation of casein', a lesson for us all. Good tip for making italian-flavour paneer, though!

This evening I must remember to make some lunch for tomorrow, and soak my hands a bit, they are a little bit sore.....

And they were very good, too

Not perfect, that is of course an ever-distant goal, but they were very nice meatballs (since I snaffled the leftover two rather than have uneven portions - uneven portions, goodness). I should make them more often, it really is a piece of piss, and sauce can be much more instant than the one I made this afternoon, though prolonged simmering of sauces is often a good thing (dont come the bearnaise with me, matey, I know you'll just get scrambled eggs if you leave it long!)

Time for a nice long bath now, ready for the end of the weekend.

Hit that perfect meatball

No, not totally loopy today, just go here to see what I mean.....and while you are at it, check out the rest of this insane genius' work here.

There is a bit of a meatball theme, or perhaps a bit 'italiano del faux', to make up some Fremdwoerter, since I've been cooking all afternoon and enjoying myself immensely. It's like work, but you get to eat what you make. So there are now a vast number of meatballs, a big pot of tomato sauce and an ish-pizza on the go downstairs. Lovely. It'll all last me to the end of the week, which is good since I'm trying to do things on the cheapo and food is my biggest expense that I can do something about. So it's carbohydrate-heavy meals with a lot of mince or tuna for me for the next weeks, months, years.....good job I like the stuff. But, to point out the completely obvious, have you noticed that the cheapest foods are generally the carb-rich ones? I mean, if you are trying to eat on the cheap you want maximum nutrient for minimum cost, and it's usually low-grade pasta, lower-grade bread and cack-ass rice (dont buy the american long grain stuff, people, it's useless....stick with something much nicer like basmati or jasmine - or arborio to stick with the italian theme), all of which are not that delightful to eat: and veg is unbelievably overpriced, if you want variety. I'm totally gutted about not living close to a greengrocers like I have almost everywhere else, with the in-season and cheaper pricing things going on....and come to that, I want a local butcher again, like my friendly australian guy in brizzle who would joint chickens and pound out cheaper steak for me (no gags about some Ozzie beating my meat, please). Personal service, it's the way forward. And I shall stop here before I turn into Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall.

I'm also rather disturbed by certain new aspects of Blogger; I can no longer click on the little icons at the top of anyone's blog, I have to go through mine or (tediously) type in the whole url. After which it then logs me in totally automatically, which is slightly unnerving. Still, I'll get used to it; I always do.

Not much else has happened today, a bit of pancake breakfast (still all about the layered foods), clean of the kitchen (my turn, *groan*) and some shopping, and a lot of repeat listening to music since my ipod has very little on it at the moment. And so to evening.....have a good one, bloggardes!

Even more rejoicings

And now the battery is back in the bike, and ignited at the first press of the button! Hooray! It is however a good 5 degrees-ish warmer than it was on Monday, and the battery was at full whack, so what I must remember to do in future if it's cold is to take the battery out and give it an overnight charging. Save me a lot of trouble, worry, and rushing around in the morning.

I am, however, now slightly concerned about evident rust. Always got to have something to fret about, huh?

Another ray of sunshine

Rejoicings, we once again have a working washing machine.....this one is very like the old one in southampton, I've got my trousers on the go as we speak. Nice. Only need my bike to fire up well this afternoon, and I'll be a very happy Jon-ster.

Received a final demand from the gas company gimps, not my fault they royally mess us about and then send us nothing but estimated bills, which I correct online and they then dont allow me to pay. Still, it's been paid now, and I just have to get more money out of housemates. We've been burning gas like, well, gas recently, very expensive bill for just one month supply of energy.

I've also managed to finish my latest computer game, my life will be a little bit empty till I can get hold of a new one! This should not be hard. But since I'm feeling a bit strapped after paying the huge gas bill, and the rent went out on Friday and my insurance goes out on Monday, I'll just have to wait. Hmmm. Anyhew.

Kudos goes out to workmate for the Star Wars list - much appreciated guffaw.

I'm also very snotty at the moment, think I've caught something nasty from my housemate - no puns please - and this makes me a little bit ugh all over. I feel the need to go into work, also, but that might be a step too far. I think there'll just be some shopping, some cooking and a bit of bike repair today and that's it. And some more crap telly. Is the 6 Nations on today? Hope so, always up for a nice bit of ogling of arses. Shallow, moi?

Internet is back!!!!

Hooray, once more wireless surfing from home.....bless housemate D, he was worried about setting up the network but it seems to be all fine....and firewalled and the lot! Hooray!

All that now remains is for washing machine to come tomorrow, hopefully not delayed owing to sever 'orrible weather. This weather-ness may also delay my bike fiddling event, since if it's nasty and cold I dont know whether I'll be really bothered. But it will need sorting out sooner rather than later. *shrugs* it'll be fine in the end.

New guy at work seems to be cracking on, I feel a little bit guilty about not having a big conversation with him yet, not that this is anything new with me and new people, but it's difficult to know where to start. Obviously we'll do that at some point, just in time for me to run away to the south.

And now I've got the house to myself this evening, and we'll see where it goes.....not sure what I want in the way of food, and since I havent really got the most enormous selection, it'll be actually simpler to decide. But I do think a personal evening with some trashy telly will be in order, since I dont get the chance to watch it by myself; I know I watch TV at P's but this will give me the chance to surf channels at random and not piss anyone off, and slob about with little underwear if I so choose, and eat shite (though not much can be worse than the 'ten doughnuts is dinner' meal I had on Monday. Potatoes tonight, I think! Other than that, I'm a little thin on the ground with ingredients - perhaps shopping tomorrow, but only for cheapo stuff and stores, I'll be on the mince for a bit.

Enough rambling, have to check out all my usual dirty websites that I havent looked at for a while. Or something.

Da da da

News galore for you today!

Washing machine turned out to be totally bolloxed, so we're getting a new one. Landlady has ordered one in double-quick time - 15 mins between me sending a message and then being phoned by delivery company! - so slightly happier there. Washing also being done courtesy of Mandy - thanks, chuck - so I'll even have clean pants in the near future! Bike still not moving, but then I've not tried very hard. Battery has been charged, will try in middle of day at weekend and hopefully it'll be a big enough kick.....

Spent all day marking u'grads work this morning, very dull and dull, and then some. Non-stop talking, on top of no breakfast (silly me) was not the best thing, to come downstairs to find security search people are on my arse. No matter too much, just extra fretting. But I'm calm and placid. And even doing little spots of meditation in the evenings.

Broadband from BT has been switched off, but our new ISP hasnt delivered yet, so I'm without internet access for a few days. This is probably good for me, since I'm getting home really late relying on public transport. And then we've got to set it up again, no end of trauma! Never mind, sure it'll all come out in the wash.

Dad not very happy about me moving south again, but I'm not really surprised and I cant do much about it. Feel quite bad about whole relationship with him, like it's all my fault even though it is only half my fault. Hmmm.

Not much else to say, mind is feeling a bit fragmented and since I'm not going to be allowed to blog at home for a while, this is going to be the style you are getting for quite some time!

Hearbroken

My bike wouldnt start this morning. I'm not really that surprised, since it's been sat since Thursday evening without being turned over, there's been a right cold snap this weekend and this happened to me exactly before. Except that last time I came home in the evening and she started first go. Not so today, where I've tried and you can hear her sparking like mad, but the petrol just wont ignite (methinks). Coupled to this the fact that I filled her up last thursday means that there prob isnt enough air in the mix also. Arses. For some reason this is greatly upsetting me (possibly with all the other shit that life throws at you), and I just want to weep quietly and alone in a corner, or possibly with a certain someone (:-) Also, I have to stay at home tomorrow morning to sit in for the washing machine man, which clearly means I'll be late in to work, but in actual fact will be in even later if I cant start my bike and have to get the train and do a double bout of walking. Curses, curses, curses. This means it may be an early-ish morning start with a microwaved towel and a lot of warm water in an attempt to get the fuel warm enough!

I've also shifted this blog to Blogger's new thing, something I kinda object to as previously detailed since I now have to sign in with an e-mail instead of my favourite net-moniker. But otherwise it seems nice enough. Hopefully all will remain the same!

Big hello's also out to the Jane-r who apparently has managed to injure herself whilst stone-cold sober. Silly girl. Cant wait to see you again, cabbage, come home safe!

Miss you, P

One weekend away......

.....21 messages of spam. Aint life just peachy?

(Actually, it's been rather a nice weekend, even though I have to return home to unwashed clothes, but there you are, hehn?)

And the Godess smiled......

You know, those occasionally bouts of synchronicity are really spooky. I know that they are actually statistically likely and psychological and blah bl'blah bl'blah, but it's still a little bit unsettling.....anyhow, after my paen mashed potato paean the other day, with vague musings about other ingredients to add, what do I come across in the Lawson's cookbook? The very same.

Admitedly this was in an entire section about feeding toddlers and small children (natch), but I've still garnered quite a few ideas and tips. But I feel obliged to point out one thing that sounds repeatedly vile: mash with peanut butter. Yick.

Happy eating, y'all......