Mirror of souls

I've just had a little bit of a 'wow' moment. Just realised that I actually have no personality of my own.

Yes, a bold statement! And hardly a very complimentary one, no? What I really mean is that I, me, myself is built up of so many character traits that I've nicked from other people, there's actually very little of my own in there. So in effect, 'I' as a person dont exist, except in the sense that other people exist and I reflect them. Is this a good thing? Possibly not.

But it also shows just how communal life is. I'd hate to be ground-breaking all the time, and in all due fairness I learn my turns of phrase from people around me, and what is acceptable to one group is less acceptable to others.....*shrugs* anyhow, a nice day to realise in another sense, I'm something made up!

Res cogitans, eh? Well, if I only exist when I'm thinking, then perhaps people who dont think dont exist either, and all those annoying persons are just figments of my (very warped) imagination.

Corollary: if I'm made up of lots of bits of other people, then other people also are made of bits of other people, psychologically.

In which case follow several possibilites;

1. There is in fact a single personality in the world that everyone else has pinched, and a very irate someone is going to start demanding royalties very soon;
2. There is in fact a single personality in the world that everyone partakes of, and everyone is in fact the same person (who is both self-hating and self-loving all at the same time, just to add a little paradox)
   
3. There is in fact no personality in the world, and all these moving things dont exist.

Conclusion: Jon-ster is crazier than a shoebox full of hairy loons. Or why waste a chance to use the phrase 'nuttier than a fruit-cake', even though a fruit cake may, in point of fact, not contain any nuts or nut-derived products. Ahem.

My descent into dementia begins.....

Just discovered, and this is highly embarrassing (hence I have to share it with the world), that I've had my pants on inside out all day. And this wasnt by design, in a 'double your wear-time' attempt.

Whoops.

Sweet

Well, I thought so.

Slow, slow.....

I'm being what in common parlance might be termed a 'slack bastard' this week. It's true. Total lack of steam coupled with feeling of extreme comfort at both home and work have led to me doing a very small amount of work so far this week. But I think I deserve a few easy days. Mostly it's because there isnt actually any point in me cranking up a load of stuff to do, since I'm basically away for the next two weeks, and making things is pointless when the project might be canned after a very small amount of biological testing. Thing is, paperwork is also on hold whilst the data archive is sorted out, so I cant even get on with that. Suppose should be scanning the job market more thoroughly and sending off gazillions of applications, but I know that this will merely bring stress in the form of having to create presentations. And going over my old ones with a fine tooth comb and almost re-writing them, in fact. What an ARSE.

Back wall of kitchen seems to have stabilised. Disturbingly, there must be some small gap in the wall though, because I came downstairs to find an enormous slug on the kitchen floor, not pretty and thank goodness I bothered to turn on the lights rather than tromping around barefoot in the dark. Nasty things have happened to me before in such circumstances, and treading on slightly warm cat vomit is not high on the list of my experiences to be repeated. So. House still standing, though landlady seems to be doing nothing about it. I keep getting regular messages full of phone numbers - must ring some of those actually, though response is more than dismal - though when I sent an updating e-mail with a question about the wall, have had deathly silence for the past four days. A good sign? Depends on what is a good sign. That I'm not getting hounded about, to be sure, but not that things are not moving on the wall front suggests an entire lack of care about the state of the place. Well, you can get lost with your implications of us being dirty pigs if you cant be having with keeping the place standing.

Dodgy guts seem to have sorted themselves out for the timne being, must have been the lack of vegetable matter in my diet. Resolution is thus to eat more veg, more often, like I always tell myself I should anyway. So much for aiming for partial vegetarianism, was never really going to happen, was it? But I think I'm less concerned about my spiritual health these days, what with drifting steadily along on that front.......a heavy dose of philosophy will sort me out, no doubt, though Pyrrho warns me that thinking to hard will only make me miserable. Wise words. Ataraxia here I come! (and no, it's not a greek equivalent of Vegas...)

I'm hungry. Tonight I have rice on the menu again. Tasty.

Whoops

Well, another sunday gone. And the weather forecast all to pot! Was supposed to be raining like mad today, and I suppose it was quite drizzly earlier on, but this afternoon has been beautifully sunny. Never mind, meterologists! Better luck next time....

Woke up early and then fell back to sleep. Then finally got up and didnt do very much! Have rung more numbers of people landlady has given me, several messages left but not much response as yet. Actually made contact with some as well, only to find out that they're students (so much for screening by landlady who doesnt want students), and to find that some cant actually come to view except when I'm away on holiday. Ah well, no great loss I suppose. Would be rather embarrassing to explain about the back door and the collapsing wall anyway....for which I suppose the first chase up needs to be done!

Spent some time this afternoon in an internet chatroom, and it seems I've managed to piss someone off quite successfully! Well, online discussion does tend towards the instantly-risen-heckles, but I'm usually not one to party in it. Though with measured tones today I've been playing devil's advocate. This is quite fun to do in any case, but online it looks like a dangerous game. At any rate, I've sent a little apology to the other person involved, not that it really needs it, but I feel the need to smooth feathers....

But one good thing has come out of it; I've managed to think up two whole new obscure puns based around claiming to be devil's advocate. First, you can say 'I'm playing the devil's stoned green fruit' or you can say 'I'm playing the devil's dutch liqueur'.....which if I say Advocatus Diaboli I'm sure you can work out the rest......hooray dead languages!

Dinner tonight is going to be interesting, mostly because I have no desire whatsoever to do any cooking. Most unusual. Usually, and certainly in the summer, cooking is a mainstay of entertainment. Maybe I've got other things on my mind at the moment....

Too many tailings-off. I need to learn how to form complete sentences.

Ready, steady, cuisine

Well, that was an experience.

Just home after a night of exciting, novel and altogether hurried cookery. Worth doing again, I think! To explain, I've been to a ready steady cook evening, whereby some people get given random ingredients by other people from which to create delightful edibles within a short time frame. As you can imagine, some efforts turned out to be more successful than others, but on the whole, most impressive. Another confirmation of the popular rumour, that chemists are also by nature good cooks.

Also a rather unexpected turn to the evening involving Mr. Cordier, I never knew you cared *licks finger in his best Nigella Lawson fashion*, but everyone else will be getting jealous unless I pass more of it around. At least it amused someone - but I think a lot of people didnt even notice! Dear oh dear.......but to repeat what I mentioned in passing, I'm A Big Boy And I Can Take It.

Also had the chance to taste some Birnenschnapps - that's pear-flavoured alcohol to you, chummy - which was not too bad though very potent and warming of the chest in a 'is it heartburn or is it good' kind of way. Not something I'll be repeating though, I think!

Odd combinations

Well, all set for the Ready Steady cook gubbins this evening. This time the combination of ingredients shouldnt be too off-putting!

Today is being slow, very slow. I'm not in the mood for doing any work, mostly because of the weather, it's depressing with all the rain. Good job I had spare clothes at work, got drenched on the way in - and a day spent with wet feet aint fun, by any means.

More tomorrow.

Happy 6-monther, dear one

This is the most important thing about the day. All else seems a little bit less full of colour......and yes, I'm a sop at heart, that's why I have all this angst all the time!

Dodgy guttage

In no uncertain terms is this the case. I've been to the loo about ten times today, and it has not been pleasant. Quite the reverse in fact, and it obviously isnt down to the eggs of the weekend. Oh no, it must be items I have been eating since. Please let it not be the caraway seeds! I have a nasty suspicion that it's the coffee, though. Whatever, it's not been amusing, no sur.

Work has wound down almost to a standstill, owing to a solvent supply issue. It is very much a problem, which means I now have a dilemma on my hands. I can either go to work as per usual and sit around doing jack shite (because I cant achieve anything without any lovely solution-making stuff!), or I take a bit of time off, and sit at home doing jack shite. Neither is a particularly pleasant option, 'specially since the solvent issue may be solved quite quickly. Hmmmm........on the other hand, I could remove myself from the solvent-quota issue, leave any spare drops for them as wants, needs a lot of it pronto and have the whole day off. It's tempting. Though the weather forecast for tomorrow is bloody awful, so even a day off riding is likely to be out of the question. Dammit.

What to do, what to do.....

Dum de dum

Being home alone is getting a bit boring now. I've run out of things to do.....no, tell a lie, I havent completely run out of things to do but I'm pretty short on ideas!

They're just letting off fireworks again, and now I know where they're coming from at least. No, it's not a regular weekly celebration of Eid or something, no, it's the end of the play I went to see last night. Not sure why I might not have twigged till now, but never mind.....I was never going to win the prize for quick-on-the-visual-uptake anyway.

As it is, I'm probably going to bed soon. Get in a decent night's kip since I felt like no sleep had ocurred last night. So a few extra hours here would do the trick nicely. At least, I hope so.

Bread with caraway seeds in for breakfast. I'm not sure but that it's a little bit too overpowering, much as I love caraway.........

Slow burning grumbles

I've noticed something. That if you have things to do, they gnaw at your mind until you do them. So it is better just to do them and get them out of the way! Numerous things have indicated this to me in the past year, and yet I still procrastinate at international level......

Never mind. Just wanted to put a comment in here about another mind-boggling revelation I had on the train on Sunday evening. Having found my seat on the train from King's X (whoop-de-do), and carrying far too much crap with me (to whit: newspaper remnants from the previous day, newly purchased book of puzzles, postcard since I couldnt find a box at the station, bottle of coke and a coffee), I finished inserting parentheses and flipped down the useless little table embedded in the back of the seat. To find someone had carefully tucked a load of shit in there, which promptly flopped out all over the place. Marvellous.

Not all bad though, as some of it consisted of a magazine, and free reading material is always good. This, as it happens, was Men's Health, not something I would usually ever consider reading. Having perused it slightly, I'm adding it to the list of my personal Bonfire of the Vanities along with Heat, FHM and Jeremy Clarkson. You see, I'm pretty well-adjusted to life. The fact that this blog belies that statement actually confirms it, since I'm healthily channeling all the crap I have to deal with into this outlet, and the humourous entertainment it provides. But this magazine I chanced upon made me feel nothing but inadequate in a number of ways.

This is probably due to the journalism itself, working in the same way as most cosmetics in that they create a problem to which they provide the solution. Yes? Downright devious. But this wasnt a particularly hard sell either. God knows what women are exposed to in 'women's interest' magazines.....*shudders* Time to overthrow some paradigms, people.

It's still quite early, and I dont know what to do with myself. Laundry is going, washing up has been done, I've swept the floor......this is a most unusual feeling!

A lazy post

Quite blatantly ripped off. Never mind, eh? For the record, I followed a link on friend Matt's Myspace (eeeeeeeevil) to some random guy who is, but for three days, precisely the same age as myself. Freaky. Enjoy the ride, hopefully it will be informative and interesting, and totally self-indulgent.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Jon Shepherd
Birthday:	27th April 1979
Birthplace:	Stockton-on-Tees
Current Location:	Leeds (via places further afield, hasten to add!)
Eye Color:	Depends who you ask. I say grey. I'm probably wrong
Hair Color:	Que?
Height:	5'11"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right
Your Heritage:	Well, I'm a bit of a secular humanist by upbringing......Westerner?
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Skanky lab shoes with the soles coming off. And my lovely red motorcycle boots. And my trainers. Three pairs of shoes in a day.....Hmmmmm.....
Your Weakness:	Total lack of self-confidence
Your Fears:	Fear itself? That's pretty damn scary. Gay-bashers?
Your Perfect Pizza:	So depends on my mood. But in general, mushrooms are a very good thing.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Pay off my overdraft *hollow laughter*
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	*grin*
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Must......pee.......
Your Best Physical Feature:	My enormous.....*coughs* I wish.
Your Bedtime:	When I feel like it. When I'm knackered. Go with the flow, man.
Your Most Missed Memory:	Mum
Pepsi or Coke:	They're different things?
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Neither. Bleargh.
Single or Group Dates:	Single. Group is rather cheesy.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Why drink tea cold when it is so nice hot?
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Vanilla. All the way, baby.
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Last time I checked cappucino was coffee. But I tend to drink it black.
Do you Smoke:	Nope. Not after embarrassing hyperventilation episode. Bejaysus, never again.
Do you Swear:	Yup. On special occassions.
Do you Sing:	It has been known. P says I sound awful. I hear something different. *shrugs*
Do you Shower Daily:	Ummmm....if I didnt, I think I'd lie....
Have you Been in Love:	(:$ yes - and he knows who he is.
Do you want to go to College:	Been there, got the T-shirt. Been again, got another T-shirt. Third time lucky?
Do you want to get Married:	I'm not really allowed.....but yes, as long as I dont wear the dress.
Do you belive in yourself:	Existensial question, huh? Really, I should say 'no' since samsara is characterised by anatman, but if I dont believe in myself I cease to exist.....tricky.....
Do you get Motion Sickness:	It has been known. Rarely.
Do you think you are Attractive:	Yup. For all the wrong reasons.
Are you a Health Freak:	*resounding* No
Do you get along with your Parents:	Only one left. We get by.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Not really. Less bothered these days.
Do you play an Instrument:	I used to plonk on the piano, but not properly.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Ummmm.....yes, actually. But not much.
In the past month have you Smoked:	Not one puff.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	What counts? I've had my salbutamol and my betamethasone valerate.......
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Nope!
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Nah.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Vile. I think not.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	*thinks* I dont think so - but I did eat some recently (thanks Carole!)
In the past month have you been on Stage:	No. Dammit.
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Not in the past month. In fact, not in the past year. Or past two years. Come to think of it, it was quite a long time ago.....
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	No!
Ever been Drunk:	Yes. Shamefully so.
Ever been called a Tease:	Yup! *small measure of pride*
Ever been Beaten up:	No. At least, not properly.
Ever Shoplifted:	As a small child, some sweets. To my eternal shame.
How do you want to Die:	Breathing out.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	I dont think I get to answer this question any more without sounding daft.
What country would you most like to Visit:	Peru. Japan. Norway. Austria. Canada. Greece.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	I'm going to get into trouble here.....but Green is nice *wink*
Favourite Hair Color:	Che ci sono,, i capelli?
Short or Long Hair:	Short. Definitely short.
Height:	Shorter than me. But not too short.
Weight:	Right weight for height!
Best Clothing Style:	Ones that fit?
Number of Drugs I have taken:	Are we talking pharmaceuticals here? Plenty. Recreationals? I can only think of one......
Number of CDs I own:	Less than 50.
Number of Piercings:	'Live' ones? Just the one. But I've had *counts on fingers* 6 needles shoved through me in the name of body modification in the past......*cringe*
Number of Tattoos:	Three. And contrary to popular rumour, I do NOT get my arse out in the lift.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Everything. Nothing. Ommmmmmm.

De gustibus non est disputantem

Apparently.

This weekend has been another one for huge numbers of observations and musings, all of which I should blog - and I usually do at half eleven on a sunday night - but this weekend, I cant be bothered. So I'll do it tomorrow instead of the housework that needs doing.

One warning thing though - always go to the loo when the opportunity presents itself. Nothing worse than trying to find your house keys, undo your trousers and keep your sphincters sufficiently closed all at the same time.

Crunchie advert

Today is shaping up into a slow day. This is of course not a problem, but I'm rather bored of formatting document at the moment. Still, there isnt anything else I can feasibly do without opening a whole new can of chemistry worms. So we'll just leave the worms in their can and get back to arse-ing about with Word. Delight.

House feels incredibly empty at the moment, maybe I do need the presence of someone else to keep me sane! Or else I might start having Miss Haversham moments, and that would not be a pretty sight. Not that I've been jilted at an altar or anything, but there you go.

This Life watching continues apace. There is rather a lot more of it that I remember in the past, but I suppose just an hour out of your week is considerably less noticed that spending four hours a day glued to something. Still, it is as enjoyable as then, and it gives me something to do for oooh, another week at most.

Bumped into ex-weird-cookery housemate this morning at the station. He seems to be a lot happier than before, though it's hard to tell through his gruff yaaarkshire exterior. He's obviously living a lot closer than I thought. Never mind, eh?

Managed to talk to my antipodean aquaintance again last night, hadnt spoken in quite a while. He seems to be doing fine, but I'm never sure - since he never has any news to tell! Maybe he's really a dealer and really doesnt do anything during the day. *shrugs* Well, I suppose it means I have free room, board and hallucinogens when I finally trog off round the world. And there's the standing invite from the aunts and uncles, though bearing in mind the disarray of some of them, it might not be such a good thing! Actually, this just reminds me of a dream I had last night; that my cousin (the freaky one) had murdered somebody and was awaiting trial, and I was receiving all the news about it in a 'round robin' letter in the style of my Aunt Claire. Most odd. Quite disturbing. But sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And sometimes a cigar is just a big cigar-shaped penis.

*giggles*

I've just realised....

....I can put the 'alone in the house list' into full operation! Crazy dancing up- and down- the stairs here we come, oh yes.....

It's old

The gag with people at work changing your wallpaper if you forget to log off completely. The incessant parade of porn. It's been done, please be more original in future.......not to mention the fact that it could maliciously get people into trouble.

Yes.

The back of my house is falling off

Apparently. A big crack appeared in the wall I dont know how long ago, but it must be recently because I'm not THAT unobservant. Blokes who came with landlady today to shift things around seemed rather concerned about it and were joking, and I'm not sure how to take it but I think it'll be good for a while. Only thing is, the back door is now really sticking because the back wall of the kitchen has dropped somewhat and so it doesnt fit right anymore. Which means I'm probably going to have to cart my rubbish around the front and then up the back alley to put it in the bin. At least it is just me at the moment, so this will be quite rare.

Still, quite worrying! It's only the little protruding kitchen that seems affected though, so the whole house wont collapse, but it does raise some interesting questions about what will happen when it comes to winter-time and all the rain and stuff goes on....leeching into the brickworks and suchlike.....the politic person in me would say 'get the bollocks out of there this instant', but that is also so much more hassle than it is worth! I'm only likely to be here for another eight months, which is how long I've been here already.....

And there we have it. I think I've already made the decision to move by Easter next year. This of course entails me finding a job, which looks increasingly unlikely just at the moment, but you never know. One thing is, I'm NOT going to totally stress out about it, because that would be bad, and there's not a lot I can do other than try. Ditto on the house falling to bits thing. I'll make sure things are moving along every month, but......

Right. Theory says I should now get pissed, but what I really want is a big hug from my man. Life can be just so shitty at times; tomorrow will be spent doing the phone calls stuff, doing this paper for JDK and getting a new key. And updating my CV to new spangly sparkling-ness, so that everyone would employ me in a second. Sod proper work.

Oooh, dear.....

Just having a totally weirded-out moment just now. And I apologise in advance to some of my loyal readers, because the following - if you arent aware of the cultural reference - is going to make Absolutely No fucking Sense (on which program next week I shall be waxing an owl.....)

Down to brass tacks. Hands up those who remember This Life? Absolute corker of a TV show, and I originally watched most of it as a 16-year old guilty secret on the black-and-white set in my room (usually reserved for the Spectrum+3!). And at the time I probably shouldnt have been watching it (tee hee), since it is rather adult and has a lot of shagging and drug huffing and whatnot. And at the time it must have affected me more than I remember.

Well, just bought the entire box set this weekend for a bit of a blast-from-the-past watching extravaganza, and I'm totally freaked out by the Warren storyline, since it speaks so many volumes about the way I behaved for the next five years or so. Except I'm not about to flip out about yoghurt or get caught cottaging (oh please, I cant stand the smell of pee at the best of times). I even used to have the same flippin' curtains. Dear oh dear.

Of course, this does mean I based my late teen and early tweenage years on a BBC2 drama series. This is a bit of a shocking revelation, and not one the shall be referred to ever again. Clear? Clear. Good. Now, piss-taking may commence.......

And I havent phoned anyone yet!

Relief

Feeling a lot better now that I'm home and have eaten. Empty stomach does wonders for making the brain addled. That famous quote about a society being only three meals away from revolution? I reckon it's more like two.........

The fridge is now downstairs, pointless poinlessitatum et omnia pointless, but we're (I'm!) just going to have to live with that. Housemate is busy shuttling stuff out to his car and new place - he's only moving up the hill, hardly seems worth it except he'll probably save himself a packet - and so I'm feeling the need for a bath and a sleep. Hopefully better than last night with the tight chest and the anxious. Ooooh, light bulb moment there - maybe I'm a bit wheezy because I'm rather stressed! All is now clear.....

Still, at least I get to have a relaxed weekend away, and I'm moving ever closer to my week of holiday and niceness. And this evening I'm going to call some people and have big chats......

Why am I feeling like there is impending doom creeping up on me?

Maybe it's just natural human paranoia. Maybe it's just me. Who knows? All that I know is that I'm investing far too much worry over landlady and house, when really, I shouldnt be giving a toss. But I'm like that, I guess, a lovely born worrier!

Looks like I'm going to have to re-start the water bill for August, pretending that we're new or something. Not sure that housemate has actually been paying the bills, since he hasnt asked me for any money - but we've not had any final demands or owt either. Oh, to be living in alone! Or at least to be in charge of the bills, I really should have just done it off bat from the start, despite grumbling of odd-cooking housemate. Anyway.

Today has been a nice day, all things considered. Managed to get a lot of the crappy little jobs done that always get pushed further and further back, and discovered some gaps in my data that need filling! Have also had to return to Southampton work for purposes of paper composition, and it is quite, quite depressing. Never mind, wont have to think about it for too much more! And I can get all of that done this week while the boss is away.

Also getting a spot on my cheek. This is not a good thing. And eczema is 'up' on my legs, possibly due to manic cleaning but also due to excessive scratching. May have to resort to thin layer of steroids. Not good. Caffeine cutback shall begin.

I'm all out for now, and typing is actually making my wrists tinge. Too much wanking, obviously.

Landlady - she crazy

Landlady is having quite a loopy idea. In a rush of paranoia that no-one is moving in, she's coming back to show people round, and somehow acquired the idea that the large fridge in the dining room is a factor in putting people off.

The dining room is actually the wrong name for it, it's a kitchen-dining room, with the weeny kitchen squeezed in the corner and no far too tiny for a house this size - and the whole lot would be better served by a conversion into a larger kitchen and smaller space for something else.

As it is, there's a really small fridge in the kitchen, perhaps enough for one person to use and not be packing it too tight. So the other, big, upright, 5'7"-or-so tall one is a godsend. And not too far away against the opposite wall in this cavernous room. But now it is to be moved into the cellar to keep it out of the way - where it'll be absolutely no bloody use to man nor beast - because that's a ridiculous place to be storing things you need in the sodding kitchen, right?

A nice idea that we can keep things in there 'that we dont use that often', but I'm sorry, it's a fridge because it's for containing things that *do* go off quite quickly and hence require cool storage - but this is not sustained for long periods. What could we possibly want to store in a fridge in such large quantity? Freezer, yes - but fridge? The woman is mad.

Hopefully it'll never make it, even though the man is supposed to come and shift it tomorrow. Keep you fingers x-d people, otherwise it'll be a nightmare sharing a short fridge with 3 other people, beacuse who is going to be bothered in going downstairs to get stuff just to make a sandwich? It'll all get rammed into the small one, things will get worked to the back and it'll all go mank. Big fridge should remain upstairs. Grrrrrr.

I know, I know, I'm all totally obsessive and silly about this - but I've just blitzed the house so I dont get an earful from her about how clean it is. I'm not the happiest bunny, and I need a hug. And I'm not getting one until Friday at the earliest (:-(

Time for dinner.

It was late and I felt like blogging

Plus it's rather warm and swelter-y. Not pleasant for going to sleep. Not to mention fact that I havent got any instant-sleep-device on the go (a.k.a. some book or other), which means I'll probably be awake for a while yet.....but this is not a good thing, it being Monday and work tomorrow!

Today was spent mostly riding, once I'd not had much breakfast but devoured a newspaper. Not really going very far, but enough to entertain me. One thing did come to light though; I really paid no attention whatsoever when I was young. This is the instance; we as a family often used to go to Brimham Rocks for a day out, plenty of fun to be had scrambling over rocks or picking bilberries. But I would have sworn blind that Brimham was in Co. Durham. Not so, it's actually somewhere not far from Harrogate. How did I get this far without realising this? Oblivious childhood, positively oblivious.

I can also add the following cars (or their drivers) to my list of irks; Beamers (rhymes with 'unt') and Ford Mondeos (rhymes with an alternative comparative for 'more cross').

Will be alone in house, probably from next weekend. I could get used to it all too easily. Think I may have to invite people over just for the sake of it. All friends and sundry who read this, feel free to drop by for a day or a week, hell, why not stay a month or two!

Starting to see that I'll be worrying about the 'say when the job is over' deadline. Hmmm. Bit of a life-deciding moment coming up, I think.....something I'm going to have to talk through very carefully with some hand-picked people......

Weekend is here!

So it is. And it is actually Quite Nice at the moment (capitals indicate how important this is), so I may be just off out for a little ride or so.....though I dont know where I'll be going to. And off home tomorrow for family hideousness involving four generations - think the baby gets the best deal out of it, lucky bugger!

Had a little bit of a retrospective in my head, and I think I've actually achieved quite a bit in the past month or so. I'm rather pleased with myself, really, and so I'm going to be smug for a bit. Bet it's all a house of cards though, that will come tumbling down at the first opportunity........

No idea of what to have for dinner tonight though; it may be just a sandwich crust and a lot of gripes and groans - that or pasta. Oh, joy.

Heaps of supposedly clean laundry are still occupying my floor space. Shall I put them away? Hmmmm, difficult one. I could just not bother, and slowly wear them all again until there are sufficiently few left that I can bear the idea of shelving them. That appeals. And probably says a lot about me, no?

Oh, bugger, but I need a drink and a bite to eat!

La la la

Feeling in a bit of a bouncy mood today. It has gone rather swimmingly. Boss did not have anything evil to say to me (in fact, had forgotten why he asked me to come in the first instance), just wanted to know if I was staying re: funding. Which means I now have to think very hard about what I want to do. Luckily I've got quite a bit of time to think this one through, since he's going away for a while (and I was astute enough to ask to think about it).....

So, as previously indicated, feeling more bouncy. Life looking up! Chemistry meandering slowly, and having the house mostly to self seems to agree with me quite a bit. Also seem to have gotten away from me niggly stresses at work, but I think I have a bit of a clear idea of why this is.....

Ummmm, I was all set up for a big post today, but it's kinda gone the way of all! Few little things I can say though; Unmoose, can you please say a big thankyou the Gela for me? Havent had a chance to say so. Also I can note that a friend has gotten engaged, and I've completely forgotten to congratulate her too since the message came through on graduation day! Never mind. I'm quite aware that I'm crap at this kind of thing.

Off this evening for a group chinese meal in celebration of Becky's birthday. Should be interesting. Though I will be heading home not too late since I need to ride home, and I'm not one for beer anymore as we are all well aware.

Only eight more days till I see my man again (:-)

*heavily biting down on tongue*

Grrrr, more housemate gripes!

Last remaining housemate has managed to fill the kitchen with smoke. Now this I have no problem with, I've done it myself in the past and Caterina+Gavin always managed to do it with their griddle, but this is a different case. Frying sausages in a wok is of course a fair enough thing to do, specially if there arent any spare frying pans (though I know there are - and were in fact there in the cupboard with the wok). Using the low-cal frying spray, I also have nothing against though it is almost pointless to use since the oil applied is never enough to do any kind of frying, and the cooking process that occurs is usually quite sticky and closer to charring than anything. But to use this stuff in a wok and then cook sausages whilst maintaining maximum heat is 100% guaranteed to cause large amounts of smoke. Not to mention absolute buggery of said wok as it obtains a very high temperature and all the non-stick melts off. I think I'm going to be purchasing a new wok.

He's also using my marg. And I notice that the box of red wine I bought for cooking purposes, containing 3L (about 4 bottles worth) and have used the sum total of perhaps 5 glasses of wine to cook with is now almost empty. I think we have a casual food thief on our hands, not to mention trasher of pans!

Much to my eternal shame, I'm forced to agree with Jamie Oliver (I feel dirty after typing that) and note that people need to learn how to cook properly.

Paranoia

Boss wants me to 'come and see him (very briefly) on Thurs', having sent this message on Monday. Most odd. What is so specific about this that it needs to be dealt with on Thursday, rather than straight away, and what is it about? Am I going to be handed a P45 and asked to leave? Jitters have set in, though I really shouldnt worry! Just have to wait it out and see........