Butyraldehyde

Yuck. And I do mean yuck.

In a frivolous attempt to get back to the writing style and tone of several years ago, I'm going to try and not blog about how crap my life is and yada yada, because all it achieves is making me depressive. And this is not a good thing, huh? Let's try and be upbeat and happy and count our blessings for a change.

P's got a new memory foam matresss thing. You know the ones that reshape to your body as you lie on them? Yep, well, it retains heat like nothing else. I'm sure this will be fab in winter when there's less heat about, but at the moment it's very warm despite being a bit shitty weather outside.

Hopefully I'll be starting in a new play, week after next. Have to do the almost nudity thing, again, so the second time I'll be getting my kit off in public. People will start to get the wrong idea. Actually, they probably wont, but there you are. It's quite fun, in fact. Strangely liberating, as they say (not that I'm likely to leap into a lifestyle of naturism anytime soon), especially since it 'isn't me' who's getting naked, no, not anally retentive, wound-up Jon-ster - rather the character, so it's all fine :D

Whinge

Pah, it's not fair being a poof sometimes. Well, at least not at the moment. Everyone else has some nice big life experience things coming up on that whole trad marriage-baby-school thing, and I've kinda finished with all of that. I know the hippy response is 'make your own occasions', but it appears I'm a conservative boyo when it comes to this kind of thing, and I've happily translated it into some sort of failure in my head.

As I've said before, life is certainly not turning out to be what I expected for myself. Most importantly, I've got to stop comparing myself to other people, or just get depressed!

Back to work again today. I'm shaping up to like my boss quite a bit, it's rather refreshing to have someone say 'fuck' at you at work. Doesn't help that he be rather tasty, there's a whole. Chemistry is quite exciting too - anyone have any tips for dodgy Friedel-Crafts reactions?

IAM riding is going swimmingly, so I'm probably due another crash in a couple of weeks.

A long day

Had a very long day of riding. I'm totally enjoying it more than ever now that I'm doing the IAM-Advanced thing, it's lifted everything and I feel more confident, safer and more kick-ass at the same time. The fear of a smash has even gone. (That's the dangerous part!)

I was making a list in my head during the ride of witty observations to put down here when I got home, but I can't think of a single one now. The juddering, potential RSI of the wrists and ankles and a hot bath have washed it clean out of my head.

The question now is - pasta dish or rice dish for dinner? I suppose I should have the personal crazy-ass rice dish, since it's far too minging for me to make for P ever :D

Funnies

Just to break the tedium, go look up Shappi Khorsandi on youtube and have a giggle. She funny.

I own a sofa

...aned it is a bizarre feeling.

I'm realising slowly that as I grow older, more cynical and less spiritual, that I can't remember my nebulous childhood dreams. You know, the ones where you reckon you'll be playing football for the national team, or exploring regions of space, being a fireman or prime minister or any of the thousand possibilities that occur before effort is needed. The only things one I kinda remember is wanting to be the cleverest person, ever. Some kind of knowledgeable guru, the one everyone pays due respect and homage to, who can hand down knowledge from on high.

I eventually worked out that this was not exactly something to win me friends. Patronizing, much? Yup. I was no doubt pretty insufferable, but it gave me a certain drive to achieve, academically. The kind to be measured by an exam, of stuff you know or can work out using the rules. Life unfortunately isn't like that, and half the time I rage against myself and those adults who were around me for lulling me into that false sense of security.

Thing is, life isn't like a simple maths problem, or an hypothesis refuted by a designed experiment, or an essay where you argue two sides. It's a freakish amalgamation of chances, opportunities and craziness that doesn't make any sense a lot of the time. I miss out on a lot through emotional inertia, but I know that the life I have now is partly the life I have made.

I'm all growed up, and certainly am not the person I dreamed I would be. Who is? I've gone balding, I've grown a beard, I don't own a car because I chose 2 wheels instead, and most of the people I have known, are people I have known and not people with whom I currently talk. There will be no enduring legacy, and this is not a bad thing.

I own a sofa. I own a bed. I actually live somewhere now. And I'm of the age my parents were when they met, married, and travelled off around the globe. Full-on weird.