Right 'orrible
It's been a miserable weekend, hasnt it, bloggardes? Yes, it has, as you are all no doubt aware. Pity the poor fools at Glastonbury (for many reasons), but pity more to us who've been stuck indoors all weekend because of the rain. Well, almost.
Bike came through it's MOT with little trouble, at least as far as I was concerned. It's kinda a closed door process, and I was all happy till I came home and saw the advisory notice, which kindly told me that there were 3 things that either need attention or were just passable. Something to worry about in a year's time, maybe I'll have to swap the bike in before then and get myself a new toy.....though it's unlikely that I'll have saved any money by then, and I need to cut down my overdraft now....council tax owing soon....money worries as always worries!
So Friday was fine, P came up to spend a long weekend with me (since I had the day off) and it's been great, just lounging about and doing nothing in particular. Well, we did go out and see a shit film in Bracknell....and hereby begins a tale.....
I had wanted to go to Guildford for purposes of seeing said film, mainly because I've not yet been there and wanted a snoop, plus I've reason to believe the shops are better there. Also, it being Royal Ascot this week, avoiding there would have been a good idea, but we still went through anyway. Crammed full of people all off to the races dressed up posh; and for some reason, when people don slightly quality clothes, they turn into the most obnoxious cretins you can imagine. No, scratch that, they are more obnoxious even than that, odious gits. You are politely asked to let people off the train before you cram your pendulous behinds onto same, so there is no point crowding out the door before it's even open. And then dont get pissed off when, to allow my own passage through your mob, I have to stick out my elbows. Twattage, absolute twattage.
Some small consolement for all this was made by the announcer, apologising on behalf of south west trains for the weather. I hope this was facetiousness, in which case (:-) otherwise, oh-my-god there is no hope.
On the way home we did manage to get a seat on the train full of staggering drunks and half-cuts, all of whom seemed to be incapable of locking the train toiler door. I'm actually not surprised by that, as regular readers will already know of my bugbear with the electronic locking systems - is it locked or isnt it? - but so many of them consistenly failed to do it, and then had the door opened on them mid-piss by someone else.....you'd have thought that there'd be a way to freeze the door in such an eventuality, but no, it has to slide gracefully open to the extent of 1.5m wide (since they are all disabled access loos), and then all the way back again. Nice.
Well, it didnt go down too well with the hideous crones (read: dressed-up tarts from royal ascot) sat opposite us. Once again I have to raise the question of women and their silly shoes. If they are so uncomfortable that you have to take them off, then it's not very clever to be wearing them, is it? Break your shackles of gender conditioning! And dont give me no squat about looking good, most men wont give a second glance at your feet, unless they are some kind of podophile, and then they'd be slavering all over them and you wouldnt want that, huh?
Back to the story; these hideous crones had obviously shucked off their shoes a long time back, since the soles of their feet were the most disgusting shade of black, and their delightful (bright red) corns were clearly on display, along with the (hideously painted) toenails and chippings and mankiness. Bad enough, huh? Till P decided to point out that, in fact, one of these ladies' pair of shoes had the words 'your feet are gorgeous' printed on the insole in delightfully calligraphed letters. Perfect irony. Let this be a lesson to all you female types; feet crushed into silly shoes end up looking minging.
After a bloated evening with much gas - noice - sunday has been spent in quiet blah blah, with a little bit of foreign film and a little bit of warcraft and a big piece of gammon, cooked in coca-cola. This is a fantastic trick that I can recommend to anyone, for any occasion (maybe not your next bar mitzvah). Very nice turn out, and I have it now to eat up for the rest of the week, with the remains of the pot-roast pork and the potatoes.....I always spend loads of money on food around P!
Nearly time for bed, and work again tomorrow.....looking forward to it immensely.....
Bike came through it's MOT with little trouble, at least as far as I was concerned. It's kinda a closed door process, and I was all happy till I came home and saw the advisory notice, which kindly told me that there were 3 things that either need attention or were just passable. Something to worry about in a year's time, maybe I'll have to swap the bike in before then and get myself a new toy.....though it's unlikely that I'll have saved any money by then, and I need to cut down my overdraft now....council tax owing soon....money worries as always worries!
So Friday was fine, P came up to spend a long weekend with me (since I had the day off) and it's been great, just lounging about and doing nothing in particular. Well, we did go out and see a shit film in Bracknell....and hereby begins a tale.....
I had wanted to go to Guildford for purposes of seeing said film, mainly because I've not yet been there and wanted a snoop, plus I've reason to believe the shops are better there. Also, it being Royal Ascot this week, avoiding there would have been a good idea, but we still went through anyway. Crammed full of people all off to the races dressed up posh; and for some reason, when people don slightly quality clothes, they turn into the most obnoxious cretins you can imagine. No, scratch that, they are more obnoxious even than that, odious gits. You are politely asked to let people off the train before you cram your pendulous behinds onto same, so there is no point crowding out the door before it's even open. And then dont get pissed off when, to allow my own passage through your mob, I have to stick out my elbows. Twattage, absolute twattage.
Some small consolement for all this was made by the announcer, apologising on behalf of south west trains for the weather. I hope this was facetiousness, in which case (:-) otherwise, oh-my-god there is no hope.
On the way home we did manage to get a seat on the train full of staggering drunks and half-cuts, all of whom seemed to be incapable of locking the train toiler door. I'm actually not surprised by that, as regular readers will already know of my bugbear with the electronic locking systems - is it locked or isnt it? - but so many of them consistenly failed to do it, and then had the door opened on them mid-piss by someone else.....you'd have thought that there'd be a way to freeze the door in such an eventuality, but no, it has to slide gracefully open to the extent of 1.5m wide (since they are all disabled access loos), and then all the way back again. Nice.
Well, it didnt go down too well with the hideous crones (read: dressed-up tarts from royal ascot) sat opposite us. Once again I have to raise the question of women and their silly shoes. If they are so uncomfortable that you have to take them off, then it's not very clever to be wearing them, is it? Break your shackles of gender conditioning! And dont give me no squat about looking good, most men wont give a second glance at your feet, unless they are some kind of podophile, and then they'd be slavering all over them and you wouldnt want that, huh?
Back to the story; these hideous crones had obviously shucked off their shoes a long time back, since the soles of their feet were the most disgusting shade of black, and their delightful (bright red) corns were clearly on display, along with the (hideously painted) toenails and chippings and mankiness. Bad enough, huh? Till P decided to point out that, in fact, one of these ladies' pair of shoes had the words 'your feet are gorgeous' printed on the insole in delightfully calligraphed letters. Perfect irony. Let this be a lesson to all you female types; feet crushed into silly shoes end up looking minging.
After a bloated evening with much gas - noice - sunday has been spent in quiet blah blah, with a little bit of foreign film and a little bit of warcraft and a big piece of gammon, cooked in coca-cola. This is a fantastic trick that I can recommend to anyone, for any occasion (maybe not your next bar mitzvah). Very nice turn out, and I have it now to eat up for the rest of the week, with the remains of the pot-roast pork and the potatoes.....I always spend loads of money on food around P!
Nearly time for bed, and work again tomorrow.....looking forward to it immensely.....
posted by J at 10:18 PM
1 Comments:
I love the way you notice how annoying and stupid other people are. It's great ;)
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