Katharsis

Apologies in advance to all my dearest readers, but this entry is going to be devoted to moaning, just for my own mental health. We return once again to the issue of my housemate, who is consistently getting on my nerves. The thing is, I dont think he even realises this so it's entirely my problem and I've got to deal with it. If I blow off steam in his direction, I'll come off looking like the unreasonable one!

I'm still having issues over his hogging of the kitchen space. I mean, it's only polite that the space gets shared evenly, right? In this case there doesnt happen to be four cupboards we could all use, but the space is definitely weighted as him:the other 3 of us 1:1. Which is totally unfair. I mean, fair enough he was by himself here for quite a while before we moved in, and you naturally spread out a bit, but he doesnt seem to appreciate that now there are other people living here! Even to the point of shoving stuff in the other fridge, because people seem to be putting stuff in the other one. Oh my, using the fridge so that there's no space for him at all! Depsite that fact that most of the stuff in the fridge is his, he feels the need to use the other one AND place items randomly in that one all over the place. Space hogging, it's really, really rude. But to actually have a little moan about it makes it just that much worse.

Speaking of which, it's something he's ALWAYS doing. Moaning, that is. Since I've been here (just about 2 months now), I've not heard him say a single positive word about anything. It's bizarre. I mean, we all have those things that just piss us off totally (hey - why am I writing this?), and we all blow off steam by moaning about it....but we also all have things we enjoy, and rave about, and like to talk about and praise. Not him. I've not heard him speak but to put a black outline on anything. This perhaps goes with the 'gruff Yorkshireman' thing, but even they have a sense of humour. Not him. Not that I can see. It's as if everything in the world is personally out to get him. I mean, there was the incident with the swimming. He's started to try and go swimming, but apparently he cant cope with the idea that other people want to do this at the same time. Most of us would just get on with it, or try and go when there are less people there (no brainer, huh?), but this is too difficult. No, he's just going to moan about it. See, everyone is just there to piss him off. Likewise us with actually living here.

I'd accept it more, I think, if it wasnt for the fact that he'd been having blazing problems with the landlady and actually doesnt like her very much. Everything she does is a problem these days, and has to be moaned about. Well, OK, we've all had bad landlords but most of us, having had this bad experience, would the MOVE and find somewhere else to live, no? Not this geezer. He just cant face the idea, I think. But it does give him something to complain about. I mean, I've had no troubles with the landlady myself, she' done everything we could've expected, and have not had any problems. Even when the lock broke and I had to ring her - she was not at home at the time - she came up with suggestions of how to get the problem sorted. And rang when she got home to check up that it was all sorted. That's rather nice, other landlords would have just left us to break in by ourselves. But no, in his book, this was entirely her failing and the fact she didnt immediately drop everything to sort it out was an issue. Bizarre, bizarre.....

There's the issue with the plants, too. This one is from today, so it's kinda rankling at the moment. There are a couple of ferny thing dotted in the lounge and dining room, yeah? Nice, but not essential to the living environment. He's been watering them and complains (oooh, the surprise) that he wishes that they'd hurry up and die. Well, there's me thinking that if he didnt water them, they'd die a lot quicker, and kinda suggest this. I mean, we arent contracted to keep the house plants at all (I thought they were his in the first place), but he gets in another sly dig at the landlady by saying she'd probably complain about it if we didnt keep them. Hmmmm. Yet again, if this is a problem, bloody well go somewhere with a different landlady. Or just let 'em die and say they died - I mean, plants dont live forever anyway! Bejaysus. I really think he positively enjoys complaining and would really find it hard to believe that someone would do something for him with less than ulterior motives. Persecuction complex, obviously.

And then there's the phone line issue. Makes sense to have a phone line in a house, no? Yes. Well, there always was one, but he had his own independent line installed for his own private broadband and connection. BB I can understand, if he uses a lot of bandwidth (what for? Bet it's porn), but then when the rest of us move in and need a phoneline for the house, you think he'd at least discuss the issue about sharing the line or clubbing together on a BB rate? Not a word. His line, his connection, anything else is no dice. So I had to sort out this line myself, which is bloody annoying. And he even has a phone handset he's keeping to himself! Not to mention he HAD A LOCK INSTALLED ON HIS BEDROOM DOOR, which shows an incredible amount of paranoia, which he locks even when going downstairs - like I'd want to nick any of his junk. But it's like he wants to live alone but doesnt want to move. I dont get it. He even has a little ensuite business in there. So it's like he's keeping entirely seperate. Arse.

But there's the annoying habit and hypocrisy with the door locking. I mean, sure we need to keep security up and keep the front door locked is a way of that. And it makes sense to lock the door properly if you are going out and arent sure if there's anyone left in. All sensible right? Why the bollocks then does he lock the door properly when we are all blatantly still in the house? Once or twice I could put down to automatic pilot, but it's consistently happening. But the rankling issue is that he seems to have a problem that we dont put the alarm on when we go out. Well, hello, why arent you putting it on too then - if it's enough to lock the door for, why no alarm? Hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite.

Grrrrrrr.

I'm feeling a lot better now for this now, obviously it's doing some good. And it sounds really petty when I look at it, but he really is in this negative state of mind that refuses to see anything good (the ultimate nihilist? Perhaps). And is blatantly trying to live solo whilst in a house full of people. With a landlady he has problems and issues with. Move into your own bloody flat then, it'd solve all your problems! Too much inertia to do that, but it's like he cant see it. I mean, if there was a problem but I couldnt be arsed to sort it out, I'd be accepting that the problem continues because I'm being a lazy shite. Not that it continues because the world is out to get me. And yet, I get the inkling here that it's ME who's the crazy one!

Badly need to put this into a metta meditation, it'd help a lot I think. Need to develop my carapace and have it wash off, but it may take a while to develop. In the meantime, it does get me down.

Again apologies, and hopefully I'll be more bouncy on Monday morning!