Flogging a dead horse, part XVI

....or in this case, flogging a numpty old cow. Let us refer to the evidence;

• Landlady cant get into house. This is because she has brought the set of keys to the old lock that broke in January and was replaced in January. She also has a set of these new keys, since she came around one time without prior notice, managed to let herself in and leave a rather rude note to us all about cleaning. Well, if you tell us we can do something - but it also proves that you brought the wrong set of keys, numpty;
• Owing to incorrect set of keys being brought, back door was semi-broken into by landlady's crony (who I have nothing against, he seems fine and is an employee, really). This obviously set the alarm off and has seriously buggered the back door. In fact, the outside handle to this back door is now completely shafted because of this (bent round the wrong way), meaning that the back door is in effect, a back wall, what with the subsidence. Landlady remains to show people around the house, and then leaves without resetting the alarm, something she was rude to us about previously in the same letter as the cleaning. Well, you can shove it up your rude lady parts now, matey;
• Apparently one set of blinds in the front room doesnt work. Well, it does if you know what you are doing, since I've just managed to open and close one set without problem, bar a little idiocy with not letting ends drop at same rate. And that's the first time I've even touched those blinds. So that's another item for the numpty pessary;

This has really bugged me out, but it is reassuring to know that I'm not the one at fault here. If the back wall collapses, or because the rear door needs replacing and cant be fitted owing to the slippage, it wont be my fault. Also you theorising about subsidence and heave wont wash, because quite clearly if a tree is removed but not its roots, there will be excess water in the ground that makes it muchy and hence more prone to slip, not send up the corner of the buliding. And you can see and feel that it has slipped and not raised. Not to mention the fact that heave is to do with frost - in summer? Bollocks.

I shall play my role of good little tenant, and remove my cardboard box by removing the books from within and putting the out downstairs (or at least some of them!). I shall also inform her of the back door handle, and the other handles in the house. I shall also be searching most diligently for somewhere else to live. Though probably not very hard, if I'm honest.