Woodworms
More people keep crawling out at me on Facebook....it's getting to the point where I'm adding people I've not spoken to in 10 years, and it does make one pensive. The past ten years have been, well ten years long, to put not to fine a point on it, and a lot happens in 10 years. If I went back to being 18 again, I could probably have said the same thing about the 10 years before that, so it only goes the show how things change.
I'm certainly not the same person I was before. Less serious, to be sure, since I've realised that nobody was ever really going to take me seriously when I had no confidence in my own worthiness. I still doubt my own ability, seriously doubt it sometimes; now I can laugh it off somewhat by realising that there is no-one so pompous as him inflated with his own self-importance, and I can see that at least I'll never be in such a position, so laughing at myself means I dont lose face. Having accepted that universal acceptance is unlikely, I've actually managed to treat myself as perhaps a bit more human and actually like my life a lot more.
Still, though I have happy memories at school, they remain and will remain such; memories. There were some crappy parts of my life back then, a whole lot of confidence issues and superiority issues that matter less now, matter not at all, and so I wouldnt want to go back and be there again. I've made more of my life, though perhaps through the gradual destruction of the old me. I hope the most recent me is a better person, and it only shows how the self is not immutable. Basically, I can accept the change and look forward to more to come.
So all in all, though I'm morbidly curious about all these people who keep knocking me up (so to speak) on Facebook, I've had enough of trying to connect with my past. If I really wanted to stay in touch, I suppose I would have, but I havent. There are in fact very few people I've kept in touch with, all said.......*violins*
Enough maudlin stuff. I was perhaps aiming for something deep and meaningful here, but we've ended up with twaddle as usual....still, at least I'm doing my bit for the 'infinite-number-of-monkeys-write-Shakespeare'-project.
Goodnight bloggardes, and realise that you arent the same person today as you were yesterday, and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
to the last syllable of recorded time, and that you wont be the same person after that, either. You 'aint never staying the same, so dont try to (:-)
And I've had to park my bike somewhere else apart from my usual spot *grump*
I'm certainly not the same person I was before. Less serious, to be sure, since I've realised that nobody was ever really going to take me seriously when I had no confidence in my own worthiness. I still doubt my own ability, seriously doubt it sometimes; now I can laugh it off somewhat by realising that there is no-one so pompous as him inflated with his own self-importance, and I can see that at least I'll never be in such a position, so laughing at myself means I dont lose face. Having accepted that universal acceptance is unlikely, I've actually managed to treat myself as perhaps a bit more human and actually like my life a lot more.
Still, though I have happy memories at school, they remain and will remain such; memories. There were some crappy parts of my life back then, a whole lot of confidence issues and superiority issues that matter less now, matter not at all, and so I wouldnt want to go back and be there again. I've made more of my life, though perhaps through the gradual destruction of the old me. I hope the most recent me is a better person, and it only shows how the self is not immutable. Basically, I can accept the change and look forward to more to come.
So all in all, though I'm morbidly curious about all these people who keep knocking me up (so to speak) on Facebook, I've had enough of trying to connect with my past. If I really wanted to stay in touch, I suppose I would have, but I havent. There are in fact very few people I've kept in touch with, all said.......*violins*
Enough maudlin stuff. I was perhaps aiming for something deep and meaningful here, but we've ended up with twaddle as usual....still, at least I'm doing my bit for the 'infinite-number-of-monkeys-write-Shakespeare'-project.
Goodnight bloggardes, and realise that you arent the same person today as you were yesterday, and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
to the last syllable of recorded time, and that you wont be the same person after that, either. You 'aint never staying the same, so dont try to (:-)
And I've had to park my bike somewhere else apart from my usual spot *grump*
posted by J at 11:36 PM
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